This Isn't the Help - It's a XXX Spoof Page #2

---

- You got some ambrosia?

- You know I do.

All right, I'll be back.

Minny, cord, girl.

Shut up.

The Guiding Light.

Hi, Missus Walters.

I'm watching my story.

OK.

Isn't it gorgeous?

Sorry I'm late.

You're home!

I missed you all, too.

Well, if it isn't "Long Haul" Skeeter.

We didn't ever think

you'd leave Ole Miss.

Well, it does take four years, Jolene.

I've got a great summer planned for you.

Great.

I went ahead and I picked up my black

dress from the cleaners this morning.

What?

- About supper club tonight.

- What?

Honey, Stuart had to cancel.

Again?

He got held up on the oil rig, Skeeter.

It's... It's offshore.

I'm starting to think this Stuart

is a figment of your imagination,

so just forget it.

I'm just gonna go get a plate.

- Shh!

- Sorry!

I got a job today.

At The Jackson Journal.

They'd be a fool not to hire you.

To Skeeter and her job.

Last stop till marriage.

Oh!

- It's for the Miss Myrna column.

- Hmm.

Elizabeth, can I talk to Aibileen?

Just to help me with some of the letters

till I get a knack for it.

My Aibileen?

Why can't you just

get Constantine to help?

Constantine quit us.

Oh, my gosh. Skeeter, I'm so sorry.

Anyway, I just, um... I don't really

know how to answer these letters.

Well, I mean, as long as it doesn't

interfere with her work.

I don't see why not.

Leefolt residence.

Hello. Is Elizabeth in?

She having bridge club right now.

May I take a message?

Yes, please tell her Celia Foote

called again.

I'll call back tomorrow.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Uh...

Miss?

I'm looking for some help at my house.

Do you know any maids looking?

No, ma'am.

OK. It's Celia Foote.

Emerson-684.

Bye now.

You scared the daylights out of me!

It is lunchtime,

and I am suddenly hungry.

Honestly!

Oh.

I'm still working on it, Aibileen.

Who was that on the phone?

Miss Celia Foote called again.

I've never called her back, Hilly.

She can't take a hint, can she?

Who's Celia Foote?

That tacky girl Johnny married.

From Sugar Ditch.

It could have been you, Hilly.

And live 30 minutes outside of town?

No, thank you.

Anyway, I ran into her at the beauty

parlor, and she had the nerve to ask

if she could help with

the Children's Benefit Ball.

Aren't we taking non-members?

The benefit has gotten so big.

Yes, but we're not telling her.

Thank you, Aibileen.

Hilly, I wish you'd just

go use the bathroom.

I'm fine.

Oh, she's just upset

because the nigra uses the guest bath

and so do we.

Aibileen, go check on Mae Mobley.

Yes, ma'am.

Just go use mine and Raleigh's.

If Aibileen uses the guest bath,

I'm sure she uses yours, too.

She does not.

Wouldn't you rather them

take their business outside?

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote