This Isn't 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse': The XXX Parody Page #3

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some more, feel free to leave.

Fun, isn't she?

Bella... Hi.

- Hey.

I was wondering when we'd see

your face around here again.

Yeah, same here.

Sam, we're good?

We're good. She won't be getting

through our line anytime soon.

So, when did Leah joined the pack?

Around when her Dad died.

Her brother Seth, also phased.

He's only fifteen.

One of the youngest we've had.

Sam keeps him home studying,

but he's chomping at the bit.

Wish it was Leah who'd stay home.

Come on,

don't be such a guy.

No, it's... It's not a chick thing.

It's... You know, a triangle thing.

We all have to live

the Leah, Sam, Emily pain-fest.

Wolf telepathy, remember?

So, Sam dumps Leah for Emily?

It wasn't like that.

Sam hates himself for hurting Leah.

But, Emily was The One.

Yeah, I guess it's sort of

chooses you sometimes.

It's more than some crush, Bella.

Sam imprinted on Emily.

Do I want to know what that is?

Imprinting on someone is like...

Like when you see her,

everything changes.

All of a sudden, it's not

gravity holding you to the planet.

It's her.

Nothing else matters.

You would do anything...

Be anything for her.

It sounds like you know the feeling.

Have you...

imprinted on someone?

You'd know if I had.

I just have a direct line to Sam's thoughts.

So for now, you're...

still you.

And you're still you.

- Yeah.

Until graduation.

graduation?

You knew this was gonna happen.

Not in a month.

I mean, not before you've...

you've even lived.

Or before I could...

For a second, just a second,

I thought...

But he's got his hooks in you so deep.

I decided this, not him.

- Bella, they're not even a live.

It makes me sick.

Better you really be dead than one of them.

I can't believe you said that.

Edward was right,

I shouldn't have come.

Bella, come on.

Please.

I'm sorry.

You know...

Edward could at least respect meal times.

I was just with Jake.

Oh...

Good.

I'll just give you two some privacy then.

Hey.

Do you understand how worried I've been?

I was perfectly safe.

I almost break the treaty to make sure of it.

I know, I smell like a dog. I'm sorry.

- No, no. Something's wrong.

Edward, what's wrong?

- Someone's been in here.

Who was it?

Someone we know?

Just a stranger.

I didn't recognize his scent.

A nomad passing through?

A passer-by wouldn't have left

Bella's father alive.

His scent disappeared about five miles

south of Bella's house.

Someone's orchestrating this.

- Victoria?

I would've seen her deciding.

- It has to be the Volturi.

I don't think it's the Volturi either.

I've been watching Aro's decisions, too.

So we keep looking.

We also take shifts,

guarding Bella at her house.

A nother protection detail?

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