This Isn't 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse': The XXX Parody

Synopsis:
Genre: Adult
 
IMDB:
6.0
Year:
2010
51 Views

Who's there?.

Who's there?.

What do you want?.

Some say the world will end in fire.

Some say in ice...

From what I've tasted of desire,

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if I had to perish twice...

I think I know enough of hate,

To say that,

for destruction,

Ice,

is also great.

And would suffice.

You know,

I've got an english final.

I gotta focus.

Marry me.

No.

Marry me.

Change me.

Okey I will if you marry me,

It's called a compromise.

It's just called coercion.

It's not fair.

Marriage is just...

Is a piece of paper.

Where I am from,

it's the way one says, 'I love you'.

Where I come from,

at my age...

It's the way one says,

'I just got knocked up'.

So, you're worried about

what people will think.

You know, it's two out of three

marriages end in divorce.

Well, I think you'll find the...

Vampire, human divorce rate

is a little lower.

Just marry me.

I can't.

I have to be back at four.

Four o'clock on the dot.

That kid trying to brown nose me

now or something?

He has a name.

And now he's too punctual for you?

Okey...

You understand

why you're being punished, right?

I know, I put you through hell.

- Yes, you did.

But I have other reasons,

for grounding you.

Like...

I just want you to get

some separation from him.

Dad, there is nothing you can say.

Edward is in my life.

Yeah, I'm gathering that.

So, alright. How about this?

I'll make you a deal.

You're not grounded anymore,

if...

You use your new found freedom...

...to see some of your other friends too,

Like...

Like Jacob.

He's going through

a really tough time right now,

His Dad's really worried about him.

I remember when that was you.

You needed a friend,

Jake was there.

Hey, it's Jake.

Leave a message.

Jacob hadn't talk to me in weeks.

I wanted to fix it,

he just...

He wouldn't give me the chance.

'I miss you too.

Doesn't change anything.'

You scared me.

You're going now to the reservation.

How'd you --?

Alice...

Hey,

did you do this to my truck?

Bella, you have to understand.

Your safety is everything to me.

Jacob is not gonna hurt me.

Not intentionally,

but the wolves have no control...

Edward.

I have...

Until graduation,

to see him.

And I'll be one of you,

and he'll hate me forever.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

- Just in time. Alright, check it out.

Alright, let's see what you got.

- My fellow students.

Cool.

- Right?

Wow.

- Okey, right? -- Cute.

We are the future.

Anything is possible...

...If you just believe.

- Nice.

Blah, blah, blah...

Perfect.

- And got your self a speech.

No, this will be my speech.

When I want everyone to throw

diplomas at my head.

So...

Thank you.

Ya gotta embrace the cliches,

Jess.

They have the bread and butter

of all valedictorians.

And that is why you are not valedictorian.

And Jess doesn't need cliches.

Speech is gonna be epic.

Epic? It'll change lives.

I decided to throw a party.

After all, how many times

we gonna graduate high school?

A party? At your place?

I've never seen your house.

- No one's ever seen their house.

A nother party, Alice?

It'll be fun.

- Yeah.

That's what you said last time.

Hey, Angela.

- Yes.

Do you need some help with those?

I know you know what she saw.

Tell me.

It was nothing.

You looked worried.

Just that everyone would notice

how strange Alice is.

I think that ship sailed long ago.

I wonder what's wrong.

There's someone missing

in Seattle, over a year ago.

Charlie is doing what he can,

but...

Do you know something about this?

We've been tracking the situation

in Seattle for a while.

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"This Isn't 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse': The XXX Parody" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 18 Jun 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/this_isn%27t_%27the_twilight_saga%3A_eclipse%27%3A_the_xxx_parody_22393>.

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