They're Watching Page #3

the longest drive ever.

ALEX:
I don't even know

what to do about this.

I mean, who has

the right of way here,

me or the horse?

Welcome to the Pavlovka Ritz.

This is it?

KATE:
And take care

of the f***in' cockroach

in my room.

GREG:
Hey, come on,

let's do this, man.

This is gonna be fun.

KATE:
Are

you telling him?

VLADIMIR:
Yes, yes, yes.

He says, "Step on

it yourself" or...

KATE:
Step on it?

Step on it?

It's bigger than

my f***ing foot.

ALEX:
Kate.

Maintenance man will

not be here for hour.

Jesus Christ,

where the f***

have you guys been?

Before you freak out,

three hour delay in Berlin.

Kate, you've met

Wallace's niece.

This says that you're on time,

right here on the website.

GREG:

And the flight was great,

thanks for askin', Kate.

Oh, f***, the f***ing

Internet here is

f***ing retarded.

Kate, Kate, Kate.

(SHOUTS) F***!

Relax, it's Pavlovka.

The cell phone service

is, uh, not so good.

And who is this

wonderful woman here?

I have not met you.

Oh, no, hi,

my name's Sarah.

I am Vladimir,

it's a pleasure.

Nice to meet you, Vladimir.

I, uh, have a little,

uh, gift for you.

Pick a card, any card.

It's your lucky day!

It's Vladimir.

Everybody knows me because

I make your dream house

appear like magic.

Thank you.

Jesus Christ, whatever.

Just check them in.

GREG:
Fancy.

Okay, here.

Why are you standing

around, dummies?

Go unpack the van.

ALEX:
Achtung, achtung,

unpack the van.

Fine, do it.

Why are you still filming?

GREG:
Memory cards are cheap,

I don't wanna miss a shot.

Oh, my God.

ALEX:
All right, it

breaks down like this.

Greg is camera one.

When sound is

not a priority,

I am camera two.

Your job is primarily

to fetch us

batteries, memory cards,

stuff like that.

Keep our walkies refreshed.

Et cetera, et cetera.

Um, when do I get

to shoot something?

Do you know how

to use a camera?

Yes, I took a lot of

film classes in college.

Oh, oh, my God, Greg,

she, she took film classes

in college.

(STAMMERS) I'm so sorry.

I didn't know we had

an expert on the crew,

so when you are not

being our fetch monkey,

you can be camera three.

You drop this thing,

it is $1,500 out

of your paycheck.

Okay.

Okay, it's 2K, waterproof,

even shoots night vision.

Night vision?

Yeah.

SARAH:
For Home

Hunters Global?

Bow chicka bow wow.

SARAH:
What does that mean?

Yeah, what does

that mean, Alex?

It means, you know,

in case somebody

wants to hook up

with the buyers.

Yeah, 'cause they're

definitely not gonna wanna

be able to see him when

he's hooking up with 'em.

Oh, see, he's very mean.

(SARAH LAUGHS)

You thought he was so

nice, but he's so mean.

This is why I love him.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes