The Swan Princess: Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today!

Synopsis: With her parents away for the summer, fun-loving, young Princess Alise must spend her time with Queen Uberta, training to be the perfect, proper royal...But what she really wants is to become a swashbuckling pirate! Princess Alise sets sail with Lord Rogers, Jean-Bob the frog and Speed the turtle on a bold, high seas journey filled with amazing adventure, danger and discovery. After a shipwreck leaves the brave crew stranded on a wild, mysterious island, they meet Lucas, a young boy who has been living in seclusion. Now the faithful friends must work together to escape the island and the ferociously hungry creatures that dwell there.
Production: Nest Family Entertainment
81 min





Meat. Meat.



That was close.


You've been chasing ghosts again.

It was different this time, Nums.

What? Where's the baa-baa?

You ate the whole thing?

-He didn't eat it.

-Who then? You? You?

-Let me smell your breath.


There was no baa-baa!

It was just a sound, like all the rest.

But we saw this one, Nums.

Oh, really? What color was it? How tall?

There are no more meat things.

We ate them all!

Which is something I warned you all about.

And now they're gone, aren't they?

-Then what makes those sounds?

-What makes the grass move?

Ghosts. Ghosts of the meat things

we've eaten before.

They haunt us.

There are no more...

Say it, Nums.

No more baa-baas!


-No more cockle-doos!


-No more snort-snorts or moo-moos!

Snort-snorts. Moo-moos.

No more meat, all extinct

Look what we've done

Used to eat fleshy treats

Now we have none

Cockle-doos, all are through

No more moo-moos

Can't get by, losing my mind

What can we do

You see, look at us.

This is why

we don't say "moo-moos" or "cockle-doos"!

Or "pink bellies"?

Yes, pink bellies.

-Pink bellies!

-Ten fleshy fingers.

And ten fleshy toes.

Tender necks, tasty tummies, meaty legs...

Meaty, tasty pink bellies!

Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat!

But maybe someday...

Someday soon.



-We love you, Alise!

-I love you, too!

It's okay, Queen Uberta.

They'll be back by summer's end.


I don't get it.

Derek and Odette are going to

spend the whole summer helping people?

Papa says that's what

being a real prince is all about.

What a hippie.

I'm gonna miss them.

So, what's first? Build a fort? Play tag?

Not tag.

I'm sorry, Alise,

but General Puffin has a castle to guard.

-As you were.

-I wish.

Bad cannon!

Well done, Bridgit.

Now we've got everything we need

for Sailor Boot Camp!

Sailor Boot Camp!

Alise will be the perfect student.

And to think

I've got her to myself all summer!

I can't wait to begin!

But before Alise arrives,

a quick review of my sailor proverbs.

"To find a new world, or your way home,

"a sailor must know the stars by heart!"

Stars by heart!

A sailor must also know his ropes.

"You may break your ship on a reef

"if you raise the lugsail

when you mean to raise the mainsail."

Know your ropes!

Know your ropes!

"To avoid becoming a castaway,

"never tie a knot insufficient to the task."

Let Sailor Boot Camp begin!

Let Sailor Boot Camp begin!

"Parrots are optional."

Parrots are... Hey!

You may call for Alise.


Will you come to my chamber please?

What is she up to?

Princess Boot Camp!

No, Alise! It's a trap!

I'm afraid, Alise will have to miss your

"Life on a Poop Deck" lecture series.

Sailor Boot Camp! How did you know?



Says the man who wants to

turn my grand-daughter into a pirate!

"A pirate"? Me?

Let Princess Boot Camp begin.

A "pirate" she calls me.

-"Pirate" she calls me!

-Do you ever say anything original?

Do you ever say...

Chamberlain! No! Chamberlain, wait!

I'm sorry, Queen's orders.

Chamberlain, I demand

that you open this door!



Alise, darling! No, no, no, no.

I thought you said pinky out.

Out, yes. Straight as a dagger, no, no.


I think my pinky

doesn't want me to be a princess.

It must learn to do its duty

like every other bone in your body.

Granmum, I was, kind of, thinking about

going swimming today?

No, no, no, no, dear!

No swimming,

no leaving my wing of the castle

until you've been properly trained.

Today, after pinky positioning,

it's on to proper curtsy technique.

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Brian Nissen

Brian Nissen (20 October 1927 in London – 8 February 2001 in Salisbury, Wiltshire) was a British actor and television continuity announcer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Swan Princess: Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today!" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 28 Oct. 2020. <>.

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