The Night They Raided Minsky's Page #6

until you are at least 10 blocks

from the theater.

This is for your own safety. Now...

- How did she get here?

- Trim Houlihan. Trim smuggles aliens.

- No!

- Yes, you know that.

Yeah, everyone knows that.

And Fifi's Trim's girl.

All right, our sales representatives

are now passing among you.

Who will be the first person

who will win

the men's wristwatch,

the ladies' wristwatch,

the all-purpose pocket knife,

and the book they want to burn,

Mademoiselle Fifi?

All right, I see I have

a gentleman over here.

You, sir, would you stand up and tell us

what valuable prize you have won?

A genuine 12-jewel

Elgine men's wristwatch.

There it is. With silver band attached.

Mademoiselle Fifi.

If Mademoiselle Fifi puts one foot

on the stage tonight, we raid tonight!

Tonight!

Faster, please.

This is the best we got.

If you don't like it, go someplace else.

Selwyn, let me have

a double on an onion roll,

half brisket, half pastrami.

Pickles, sour tomatoes. No sauerkraut.

My stomach's acting up today.

Boy, am I nervous!

Selwyn, make the meat fatty,

the lean's too dry,

and coleslaw, if it's made today.

I got a call from the police.

Fowler's gonna have three squads

to the midnight show.

A little French fries with that, too.

Not too greasy.

Word's out all over town, all over town.

The press is starting to call.

This Fifi business better work,

that's all I gotta say, it better work.

Now, don't worry about it, Billy.

Chick's getting her set now.

Have you ever seen burlesque

before today?

- No.

- Well, it's...

Burlesque is... How can I explain it?

The reason it's called burlesque is...

Look, there's a bucket.

For putting water in? Not in burlesque.

Stairs, for climbing? No.

Oh!

Well, that's burlesque.

You know Paul Straw, don't you?

Got one line, right?

- Yeah.

- "No, no, I'm too young to die!"

- You know the sketch, right?

- Yes.

He's walking around all night long,

"No, no, I'm too young to die!"

"No, no, I'm too young to die!" Right?

Up and back! "No, no, I'm too young..."

During the sketch

he says, "No, no, I'm too old to live!"

How about some poker between shows?

That's a good idea.

Now? That's ridiculous.

This is the cinq--sept.

- The what?

- Cinq--sept. It's French.

It means 5:
00 p.m. to 7:00 p. m.

The time every respectable Frenchman

calls on his mistress.

- Since when do you have a mistress?

- I don't.

- Who ordered the herring?

- Me.

We're out.

For you, I'll stretch a sardine.

Hello, my name is Raymond Paine.

I've been sitting there with my friends

thinking about you,

and how very appealing you are.

Now, I know this is unconventional,

and perhaps you will chastise me for it,

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