The Muppets' Wizard of Oz Page #3

- Yeah.

- All the houses are so tiny.

- It's a small world, after all.

- Oh, my gosh. What?

- I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

(Dorothy) Oh, man!

Toto...

- Where the?

- Wait!

For those of you who have

Dark Side of the Moon, press play...

(chattering)

...now.

Ay, Chihuahua!

No, wait. They're not Chihuahuas.

Ay, rats! Rats in hats!

Rats in hats, get it?

I am a poet and I didn't even realize

I had such capabilities.

OK. I work in a diner,

I know how to handle rats.

Rats? We ain't rats.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Coming through.

We're the Munchkins of Munchkinland.

The book, the book, the book!

Come on, come on, come on.

OK. And I quote:

"Rat:
A long-tailed rodent,

especially one of the genus Rattus.

"Munchkin:

A cuddly, cute and clean creature

"who resides in the land of Oz. "

- Munchkins?

- Yeah.

- Sorry, but I know a rat when I see one.

- Whatever you say there, short stacks.

All I know is, thanks to you, the Wicked

Witch of the East is dead and we are free!

- (cheering)

- (woman) Free?

You're not free! Get over here

and get this tin can off me! Now!

Oh, my gosh, she's alive!

Quick, we gotta help her!

- (muttering)

- (woman) Please, help me up!

- Well, Munchkins, we're too late.

- Guys!

But no tears, she's in a better place.

(all) Yeah!

(grunting)

I'm gonna put you in a better place -

in my oven! You hear me?

Um... (giggles)

Could someone spot me?

Wow! This is a lot heavier than I...

Ew!

OK.

Now she's dead!

(Toto) What is that?

Hey, look!

Even the twisters are Munchkin-sized.

Oh, that's no twister, that's her sister.

She's the sister of the witch

that you just crushed with a house.

Sister?

Bonjour, Munchie-kins! (giggles)

Cuddles! Cuddles!

(kissing noises)

Each and every one of you!

My speed dating ended early,

so I thought I'd drop in for a cuddle

and a visit with

my wicked East-Coast sister.

Uh... Yeah, well, a funny thing

about the East-Coast sister.

Not so much funny as... uh... uh...

disturbing. Disturbing. Yes.

You see, this giant girl right over here

kinda squashed her to death

with a double-wide.

- What?

- Yeah.

Uh...

Right here.

(gasps)

Excuse me, I just want you to know

that I've never met this giant girl

before in my entire life.

Sorry, Dorothy... um... Giant Girl.

It was an accident. I swear.

- Well, in that case, c'est la vie!

- La vie! La vie!

I drop things all the time myself.

Charmed to make your acquaintance.

I am Tattypoo,

the old and Good Witch of the North.

- But you're so young and beautiful.

- (giggles)

- Aren't you a cutie!

- (Munchkin) No, you are! You are!

So tell me,

what kind of magical abilities do you have?

Well, I don't have any magical abilities,

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