The Mirror Crack'd Page #5

Love your outfit, darling.

Drink, Mrs Babcock?

Mr Rudd is getting me one himself,

thank you.

What are you supposed to be,

a birthday cake?

Too bad everybody's had a piece.

- Can we have a big smile, ladies?

- Chin up, darling. Both of them.

A little bit closer, please, ladies.

Lola, dear, you know there really are

only two things I dislike about you.

Really? What are they?

- Your face.

- Thank you.

- One daiquiri special.

- Oh, thank you very much.

- I've never really tried one before.

- Enjoy it.

- Here you are, my dear.

- Oh, thank you, darling.

How are my two favourite stars

getting along?

What are you trying to do,

give Marina another breakdown?

Why would I want to do

a thing like that, pumpkin?

Come on. Remember they used to grind

glass in each other's cold cream.

One would only kiss the other

if she had viral pneumonia.

They're professionals.

They take their job seriously.

- So did Attila the Hun.

- Marina, baby!

Oh, Marty, darling.

How thoughtful of you

to bring Lola to my party.

You know, I've always thought of Lola

as one of my oldest, oldest friends.

Jason, darling, I'm certainly looking

forward to working under you again.

Watch it, Lola.

Jason, how about a drink

with an old pal'?

- I only drink with friends.

- What am I, chopped chicken liver?

Bad enough forcing me

to use your wife in this picture,

but bringing her here with Marina

in the condition she's in.

- Think of the picture!

- I am!

- And the sanity of my leading lady!

- Bubbie, listen to me.

She's gonna be fine.

I'm looking out for our best interests.

Our best interests?

Hey, De Mille,

why don't you face reality?

When was the last time

Marina made a movie?

The advent of sound?

When did you direct a movie

that was any good?

- Well...

- Listen to me.

If Martin N Fenn wants to get

publicity for his two leading ladies,

he's gonna get it,

without any dissent.

Because the esteemed director

and his wife are only here

because of his good wishes.

And if he wishes, he can pull the plug

any time he wants, you got it?

- Whoopee.

- Good.

- So go and enjoy the party.

- You know what?

- What?

- You're a bastard.

Of course I'm a bastard.

I'm the producer.

Oh, Mr Rudd. I believe I've reached

some understanding

about the difference between

a producer and a director.

But who chooses the leading lady?

Whoever's sleeping with her.

Er, Vicar, may I introduce

our noted producer Mr Martin N Penn'?

I'm sure he'll tell you

everything you want to know.

What would you like to know,

Vicar, baby?

I'm sorry about your ulcers, Mr Fenn.

What?

Jason, we've got a problem upstairs.

That woman.

Marina.

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