The Damned Don't Cry Page #5

The night we started you gave me $20.

I learned from Grady it should've been $50.

This just straightens out the bookkeeping.

It does more than that.

It closes the books.

I'm getting myself a new partner.

You may as well get yourself

a couple of other new items...

if you'll excuse the expression.

I'll excuse it. I'll show you

how far you can get without me.

And wait till you see

what I got lined up for tonight!

But I'd take my mother

before I'd take you!

Oh, shut up.

May I have the next waltz?

Excuse me.

What do you get headaches from?

I beg your pardon?

I said, what do you get headaches from?

The heat, I guess.

It'll disappear in a minute.

- Is there anything I can do for you?

- Yeah, you can give me a cigarette.

Of course.

- Thank you.

- Don't you smoke?

I'm trying to limit myself

to half a pack a day.

So what do you save? A dime.

You'll never get rich that way.

No, but I might get a lot healthier.

There's room for improvement.

CPAs never get enough exercise.

What's that?

- Exercise?

- No, I mean that other word.

CPA. Certified public accountant.

I'm with Tuttle and Wagner.

We're tax consultants.

- We take care of your auditing.

- My what?

Your books and records.

I mean, the firm's.

Why haven't I seen you

around here before?

I only come over about once a month.

Usually on a Saturday afternoon.

I'm usually off Saturdays.

So there you are. It must be fate.

What?

Fate. F-A-T-E.

I'm afraid I really have to get back to work.

What if you don't?

Well, the Secretary of the Treasury

won't like it, neither will your boss.

It's my job to keep them both happy.

You do all that with nothing but this?

- It takes a little of this, too.

- I'll bet.

How much of that is it gonna take today?

I'll be here till 9:00, 10:00.

When do you eat?

Whenever I finish.

That's what's giving you those headaches.

Skip a meal, you gotta take an aspirin.

Too many aspirins, you got an ulcer.

First thing you know,

you gotta have an operation.

You can't work, you're flat on your back,

your company goes to pot.

Then where are you? Dead.

I never thought of it quite that way.

Think of it.

Well, I guess I better get dressed.

Well, too bad we won't see you

at Grady's tonight.

You'll see me.

Check your hat, sir?

- Good evening, Miss Whitehead.

- Good evening.

- Four, as usual?

- No, just two tonight.

Very well. This way, please.

Reading spoils my appetite, George.

Just bring me the squab with wild rice,

asparagus with hollandaise...

a small mixed-green salad

with a touch of garlic...

cherries jubilee, and a double martini.

And you, sir?

I'll have a chicken salad sandwich.

And a cup of coffee.

Yes, sir.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote