That's What I Am Page #3

he feels comfortable?

How would you feel if everywhere people

made fun of you and played tricks on you?

Ricky Brown makes fun of him

every day.

He was squirting him with a water pistol

so it made him look like he wet his pants.

Ricky Brown is a very cruel boy.

Stanley has suffered his whole life.

Why would God do that, Mom?

Make someone look like Big G?

So that everyone makes fun of him?

Maybe because God didn't see

anything wrong with him in the first place.

And, Andy...

...his name is Stanley.

So how are you gonna get around

the Big G thing?

There is no way around it.

There's always a way. Quit school.

Yeah, I could also kill myself.

Any other brilliant ideas?

- Could be worse, you know?

- How is that?

Ricky Brown could wanna kick your butt

or something.

- True.

- Oh, hey.

Did you hear about Simon

winning that car?

- What? No. A car?

- Yeah, there was a contest in the paper.

He had to write in 25 words how to save

the world, or make peace, or whatever.

- Simon won.

- Cool.

Mr. Simon's a genius.

- What kind of car?

- Pontiac GTO.

Most bitching car ever made.

There she is.

Give it up, Nichol.

Hey, I can dream.

Mary Clear was a legend

in her own time.

She had established herself as the

make- out artist in the eighth-grade class.

Everybody who was anybody

had made out with Mary Clear.

Everybody, that is, except me.

If Mary Clear was the most attractive girl

in the school...

... then Karen Connor, one could argue,

was the homeliest.

And the homeliest girl always had it worse

than her male counterpart.

It's like, if the Elephant Man

had an identical twin sister...

... somehow she would seem homelier.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

It's Cootie Connor.

Cootie Connor. I'm gonna die.

I'm gonna die.

I'm gonna die.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Cootie Connor.

There was one and only one kid

you would go to...

... if you contracted the dreaded cooties.

And that kid was Myron Stort.

The Stort was the resident expert

on all things concerning cooties.

- Stort.

- Jason Freel needed Stort in a bad way.

Stort, you gotta help me, man.

I just ran right into Cootie Connor

in the hallway. Full body contact.

Keep your distance.

Everybody out of here.

For your own protection.

Freel was like a leper

crashing a hot tub party.

The only one who stood his ground

was the Stort.

Knowing full well, he was the only one

that could save Freel now.

- I need you, man. You gotta help me.

- Shut up, man.

This isn't gonna be easy, man.

Here's what you gotta do.

- You gotta touch her again.

- No, man. No way. I won't. I can't.

- There's gotta be another way.

- Shut up. Shut up.

There's only one way.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes