That's My Boy Page #3

We're gonna have

the best wedding ever.

Okay.

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

DONNY:
HoIy sh*t.

What the hell happened

to my Iife, ChampaIe?

Don, honey, no way to come

up with that money, huh?

No. The only thing

I'm good at is

being Donny Berger,

and no one wants to

pay for that anymore.

Aw, Donny.

Wow!

My face is your toilet!

Show some f***ing respect

over there, Kenny.

Hey, whoa.

Hey, Mom, did you want

some breakfast after

you finish your dance?

Give it to me now, honey.

Donny doesn't mind,

do you, Donny?

Holy cow,

that's my son !

Who, Han Solo?

I thought you said

he was a fatty.

No, no, no.

He must have lost

the weight or something,

'cause I swear to God,

that's my boy.

It says,

"Todd Peterson to wed

Jamie Martin this Sunday

"at All Saints Church

on Cape Cod."

Todd Peterson?

He changed his name!

Why?

What was wrong

with Han Solo Berger?

It's the coolest f***ing

name of all time.

"Peterson is

one of the youngest

"large-cap hedge fund

managers in

the financial industry."

Oh, he got rich

on us, huh?

"All the more impressive

considering he was orphaned

"at age nine

when both his parents

"died in

a horrific explosion."

He f***ing blew me up

and his mother?

Donny, maybe your son could

help you, financially.

I don't know.

This kid changed his name.

He doesn't even want

to be a Berger anymore.

He's not gonna

want to talk to me.

That was the incomparable

ChampaIe.

(APPLAUSE)

And now, looking hot

and ignoring

doctor's orders,

let's welcome Amber.

(WOLF WHISTLES)

What the f***

happened to her?

F*** you, Kenny!

Hey, what's up,

RoboCop?

GERALD:
This is

where your boss lives?

TODD:
Oh, uh, it's actually

just his summer home.

GERALD:
Summer home.

What a dick.

JAMIE:
Dad !

Oh, my goodness.

Todd, it's just

breathtaking !

(LAUGHS) Hey!

There he is.

Hey, Mr. Spirou.

There's my golden boy.

(LAUGHS)

Come over here, champ.

Come on,

get over here.

Oh, oh.

Hi. Yeah.

Oh, look at you.

Look at you,

the lovely bride.

What a couple!

Mr. Spirou, it's so amazing

that you're letting us

all stay here.

Seriously,

thank you so much.

Steve, these are

my parents,

Gerald and Helen.

Oh, it's a pleasure.

Hi.

Your daughter's

a sweetheart.

You can tell

she likes Todd for Todd,

not because

he's gonna be rich.

I wouldn't want

my boy to end up

with some gold digger

like the last three whores

I married, huh?

(LAUGHTER)

True story.

All three? Whores.

(CHUCKLES)

Huh.

Well, guys, this weekend,

mi casa es su casa.

You know, every member

of my staff are lucky

to be in this country,

so feel free to abuse

the sh*t out of 'em.

(LAUGHS)

Go get the f***ing bags!

Well, Mrs. Spirou,

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