St. Elmo's Fire Page #5

- Oh, come on.

You must have been in love

with someone, sometime.

Yeah, once.

Junior high, I played bongos in a band,

and I fell in love with the singer.

And she sang "We've Only Just Begun"

as sweet as Karen Carpenter.

One night, I got high on cheap malt

liquor, and I pledged my love to her.

Next day she ran off with

a bassist named Ringo.

So I turned in my bongos for

a battered Underwood typewriter.

On which you'll type your way

to becoming one of the best...

...writers in America.

I wouldn't hold your breath.

I can't even organize my thoughts

into anything for the paper.

Kevin, you need to stop thinking

so much and fall in love again.

Love sucks.

Hi, guys.

Rough day on the right wing?

This is for me?

Try it on.

Kevin, stir the vegetables.

Right.

Leslie has to marry me soon.

Why? Are you pregnant?

What is your marriage hurry?

I'm gonna kill myself.

It's only peppers, Al.

I can't believe what I did.

I innocently go to buy the nightgown...

...and this amazingly leggy blond

salesgirl offers to model it for me.

So we do it in the dressing room

in front of a three-way mirror.

So there were six of you.

If Leslie would just marry me.

Marriage will make you faithful?

Yes.

The idea of marriage

was invented by people...

...who were lucky to make it to 20

without being eaten by dinosaurs.

Marriage is obsolete.

Dinosaurs are obsolete.

Marriage is still around.

Alec, come here. This is obscene!

I love it.

Stir those vegetables.

Don't look!

Don't look.

Oh, come on.

- Kevin...

- I don't care.

Get off!

He'll burn my vegetables!

- No, he knows what he's doing.

- No, he doesn't.

Get off of me!

Look at this creep.

Hi, you want a date?

- Hi, you want a date?

- Maybe later, baby.

How come you never ask me

if I want a date?

Because I thought you were gay.

Why would you think I'm gay?

Because I never see you with a girl.

And you always look real strange.

I happen to be in love with someone,

only they don't know it, okay?

Guess you wouldn't understand about

loving someone from afar, huh?

Delaware's about as far

as I've ever been.

Is this person a he or a she?

It's a secret. I guess you

wouldn't understand that either.

You know, darling, lots of people

come to me for love...

...and it's a secret.

Come back here.

This secret of yours, is it

a little one or a big one?

Hey, you want a date?

Alec Newberry.

Hi, Alec. It's Jules.

I'm over at the Van Buren Hotel.

- What time is it?

- I don't know.

These Arabs have been

forcing me to do coke...

... all night. I don't

understand very much Arabic...

...but I think I heard

the words for "gangbang".

Alec, you gotta come get me.

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