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Smokey and the Bandit Part 3
- PG
- Year:
- 1983
- 85 min
- 606 Views
Bandit, me and Fred've got a question.
What do you and Fred want?
- How come we doing this?
- Why not?
- They said it couldn't be done.
- That's the reason.
That's good with Fred. We're clear.
Ten-four.
I'm Big Enos Burdette.
This is my son, Little Enos.
Hold on to your ass, Fred.
What we're dealing with here...
is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Nobody makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice
look like a possum's pecker.
Daddy, look out!
- Daddy?
- Shut up, Junior. I'm thinking.
- What are you thinking about?
- Retiring.
Atten-hut!
You can all sit down now.
I want to thank you
nice ladies and gentlemen...
and my fellow officers...
for coming here this evening
to celebrate the retirement...
of an old friend, Sheriff Buford T. Justice.
I think I can truthfully say...
that tonight I feel as if I...
were emerging victoriously...
from a 35-year war.
A war to uphold law and order.
Daddy, I'm bored.
I'm bored hearing about your boredom.
That's why I went to all this trouble.
Now we're going to have fun!
As much fun as putting Ex-Lax
Yeah, and then cornering the market
on toilet paper.
More fun than that.
And what fond memories
were brought back...
when I saw those 211s, the 502s...
and the DWls and the APBs...
but most of all, those hot pursuits.
You're going to pee in your pants
watching that county mountie...
hump across six states.
I don't think the Sheriff will
buy your plan, frankly.
Trust me, son. If there's one thing
that egomaniac can't refuse...
it's a public challenge.
BUFORD:
... that I have marched througha wave of crime and criminals...
like crap through a moose.
In the '60s, I chased those pimply-faced,
long-haired hippies.
And I caught them.
- Then in the '70s, I chased-
- The Bandit!
What about The Bandit?
Yeah, Daddy? What about The Bandit?
Sit down, you tick turd!
I chased that boy for over 3,000 miles.
Through 20 states.
- But you didn't catch him.
- So I didn't catch him.
What the hell difference does it make?
But I'll bet-
- Okay.
- Okay, what?
- Okay, let's bet.
- What are you talking about?
What we're talking about
is a simple contest, a little race.
And if you win, Sheriff...
we Enoses are going to pony up $250,000.
If you lose, you fork over
that silly symbol...
you've been shoving in people's faces
all these years.
Your badge.
than anything else in the world.
And I'd like nothing more
than anything else in the world...
to run you into the ground.
You and that
excuse for a son,
who looks just like
a flea's pecker.
However, I'm going to retire.
I'm going down to Florida
and sit in the sun with my son.
Remember, we're talking about
So if you change your mind,
Thanks, but no thanks.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
at this very moment...
Buford T. Justice
Fearless law of Texas
The man who chased The Bandit
coast to coast
Buford T. Justice
Now you've up and left us
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
Some say you're a lunatic
Some say you're a buffoon
Some say you're a fooI
with a gun
Though you stuck to him like glue
Now who'd have thought you'd walk away
before the job was done
The man who chased The Bandit
coast to coast
Buford T. Justice
Now you've up and left us
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
You're a hero to your ego
a legend in your own mind
To serve and protect
has been your word
But can you stand to sit it out
when pride is on the line
And "What about The Bandit?"
was the last thing that you heard
You're Buford T. Justice
Fearless law of Texas
Man who chased The Bandit
coast to coast
Buford T. Justice
Now you've up and left us
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
Just like some old gray race horse,
you've been put to graze
They say you're over the hill now
and you've seen your better days
Like that old race horse,
you still hear that bell
If a hot chase was heaven
Now the good life is hell
Well, you took on all those outlaws
and the weirdoes with the hair
You stood for law and order all the way
Now, you're standing on your records
But does anybody care
You're still known as the boob
who let the big one get away
'Cause you're Buford T. Justice,
Fearless law of Texas
The man who chased The Bandit
coast to coast
Buford T. Justice
Now you've up and left us
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
Junior, retirement is cat sh*t.
Let's get the Enoses.
Oh, look, Daddy!
The June Taylor Dancers.
- There's our turkey.
- Let's go stuff him!
Daddy, they're taking our picture.
Wet your lips.
Shut up, sh*t.
Well, welcome, Sheriff.
What the hell's going on?
These are a few of Daddy's closest friends.
Just came to see you off.
Let's cut the crap and get down
to the nitty-gritty.
Well, you're a sporting man, Sheriff.
We're going to bet you $250,000...
against your tin star...
that you can't drive from here in Miami...
to the Enos Ranch
just outside of Austin, Texas...
by 5:
30 tomorrow afternoon.That's only 1,400 miles. What's the catch?
There's the catch.
- Look at that big ugly fish, Daddy.
- Looks like your mama.
Smells like your mama, too.
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