Shoot 'Em Up Page #2

Yeah?

That's a six-shooter.

I just counted six shots.

You've blown your load.

Yeah, well, what about you?

Your 9-millimeter is empty too.

Yeah, you fired 8 on the rooftop,

one in the men's room...

and your second cartridge

was expended at the playground.

And you won't be getting it up

with that gun you took off my man.

Oh, no. Well, you see,

like my weapon...

it also has the thumbprint

safety device.

Oh, really?

Wanna bet?

Nothin' like a good hand job.

Get your things. We're goin'.

I don't understand a word

you're going on about...

but I know exactly what you're saying

and I refuse to apologize.

Damn you, Smith. I could have

been snuffed back there.

Yeah, you should be thanking me

for saving your sweet back door.

Why did you wait so goddamn long?

You're a bad girl,

you deserve to be punished.

Which car do you want?

- What?

- I'm tired of walking.

look at this.

You wanna know the difference...

between this luxury car

and a porcupine?

I give up.

With the car,

the pricks are on the inside.

Tell me about it.

Hello, honey.

Oh, good, good, I'm glad...

I'm glad you liked the flowers.

Good.

listen, sweetie...

I've run into a small hitch.

I think I'm gonna have to be

out here for a while longer.

But don't worry.

I will be back in time

for Timmy's birthday party...

I swear to you.

Hugs and kisses.

Bye-bye.

So, what was I supposed to do?

These guys were stalking

this pregnant lady.

I couldn't just stand there.

Did you see that?

I f***in' hate that.

- What?

- This guy, changin' lanes...

without signaling.

I mean, how hard is it

to use your signal?

So you started shooting at them?

No, I don't carry a piece.

I went to the woman. She had a gun.

They started firing, I shot back.

He's done it again.

I move my finger one inch...

to use my turn signal.

Why are these a**holes so lazy...

they can't move their finger

one f***ing measly inch...

to drive more safely?

- You wanna know why?

- Not particularly.

Because these rich bastards

have to...

be callous and inconsiderate

in the first place...

to make all that money,

so when they get on the road...

they can't help themselves.

They've gotta be...

callous and inconsiderate

drivers too.

It's in their nature.

Why don't you take the baby

to the police?

- I can't go to the police.

- Why not?

I'm the Unabomber.

They caught the Unabomber.

That's what they think.

Stupid...

Right. That's it.

You are the angriest man

in the world.

If I remember right,

you used to like it like that.

Well, how many freelancers

have you got?

Yeah? How many local boys?

I need men, you understand?

I need a lot more men.

I want four mags...

a box of 9-millimeter

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