She's the Man

She shoots, she scores! Goal!

- What? That's right! Give it!

- Nice kick.

- Very nice kick.

- Give me the ball!

Justin!

- Drop... Put me down!

- OK. Down like...

Oh, sorry.

- Goodness.

- Hey!

Hi.

- OK, you are really getting good.

- You too.

I mean, when we first started going out,

you couldn't kiss at all.

- I meant at soccer.

- Really?

Absolutely. You're...

...probably already better

than half the guys on my team.

Probably more than half.

What do you mean,

I couldn't kiss at all?

Don't worry. I've taught you well.

I know.

OK, but seriously, don't you think

you'd get more playing time

at a school like Michigan?

Maybe, but it's always been

about being a Tar Heel for me.

I'm gonna wear that Carolina blue.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, baby!

OK, what is the lacrosse team

doing on our field?

- The school cut our team.

- Wait, what?

- Not enough girls signed up.

- So they just cut us?

They can't do that.

OK. This is not over.

Hi, girls. I heard the bad news.

"Bad"? It's a disaster.

Now college scouts

won't even get to see us play.

I know. If there's anything I can do,

just say the word.

Matter of fact, there is.

We wanna try out for the boys team.

Anything besides that.

Coach, come on!

You know that we're good enough.

I don't know that

that's a thing that I know.

What?

All we're asking for is one shot.

- Yeah.

- Girls,

we have two weeks before school starts.

Then we open against Illyria.

A rivalry game. We have to win.

And we can help you win.

- Hey, baby.

- Hey.

What's going on, coach?

The girls here want

to try out for the team.

- You're not serious.

- All right, all right!

You're all excellent players.

- But girls aren't as fast as boys.

- Right.

- What?

- Or as strong. Or as athletic.

This is not me talking.

It's a scientific fact.

Girls can't beat boys.

It's as simple as that.

OK. Justin, you're the team captain.

What do you think about it?

I think the coach said it all.

Yesterday you told me that I was better

than half the guys on your team.

What?

I never said that.

What are you talking about?

Why are you lying?!

Viola! End of discussion.

Yeah, tell her, man.

Fine. End of relationship.

- Come on, let's go.

- Baby, don't be like that. I...

I just don't want to see you get hurt.

You are so full of...

Back to practice.

Sebastian.

Sebastian?!

Sebastian! Jeez!

It's you.

God, you and your brother

look scary alike from the back.

I think it's your total lack of curves.

Hi, Monique.

It's so good to see you too.

I'm looking for Sebastian. Where is he?

I don't know.

Just remind your brother

how lucky he is to be in my life.

And tell him to give me a call

if he wants to stay in it. OK?

OK. Does he have your number?

1-800-BEYOTCH?

She will do great things.

I have a surprise for you!

And this is why

I don't bring friends over.

Mom, not now.

I had a really bad day, so...

This is just the thing

to just perk you up.

- Hold on.

- OK.

Keep your eyes closed.

- Eyes closed, closed, closed, closed.

- They're closed.

All right. Surprise!

Beautiful gowns

for my darling debutante.

Mom, have I not

told you a thousand times?

I have no interest in being a debutante.

It's totally archaic.

How could I wind up with a daughter

who only wants to kick

a muddy ball around a field all day?

Well, the world has been set right, Mom.

They cut my team.

- What? No soccer?

- Yeah, that's right. No soccer.

- How sad.

- Yeah, I can see you're all torn up.

Well, Justin's gonna love you in this.

Yet another reason not to wear it.

I dumped him.

- What? Why?

Rate this script:(4.33 / 3 votes)