Sex, Death and Bowling

Since its inception in 1951,

the Masters has been a showcase event.

Competition always is keen among

the huge field of participants,

who bowl in qualifying play for one

of 63 positions in the match play final.

The defending champion

is exempt from qualifying.

As usual the event has

attracted bowling's elite,

including Master's champions.

My grandfather told me

that Earl Anthony was the greatest

bowler that every lived.

He used to watch videos of

him with my dad and Uncle Sean

when they were kids.

Earl was a left-handed

bowler... a south paw,

my grandfather said... who kept

his hair short and his glasses

on.

He was square... so

square the other bowlers

called him Square Earl.

He won 43 titles in his life.

In 1975, he was the first

bowler to earn over $100,000.

And in '82, he was the

first to make over $1 million

in lifetime earnings.

And in 2000, he was named

Master of the Millennium

by "Bowling Magazine. "

On August 14, 2001, he

fell down a flight of stairs

at a friend's house and died.

After everything he'd done,

he hit his head on the floor

and that was it.

The great Earl Anthony gone forever.

That got me to thinking.

What happens to us when we die?

Are we just gone...

finito, kaput?

Or do we live on forever?

And if we do, where do we go?

Where had the greatest

bowler of all time gone?

Where was Earl Anthony?

Eli, we've been talking for a while now,

and I want to help.

But maybe you should tell

me the reason you're here.

The reason I'm here... well,

my family's Presbyterian,

but we don't go to church.

Because honestly it's just

not a very satisfying religion,

so I'm thinking of becoming Catholic.

And for me the whole idea of

an afterlife is very appealing.

Presbyterians believe

in heaven and hell.

Well, yes, but not purgatory.

I like the idea that if you mess up,

you go somewhere and do

whatever to make up for it.

And then you go to heaven.

I just kind of want to

know what would constitute

truly evil... because

for me... truly evil

is kind of a game changer.

Have you done something

you want to tell me about?

No.

Would you say killing

someone would be truly evil?

Have you killed someone?

No.

But what if someone was

about to kill your mother?

And you had to make a

choice... kill him or let

him kill your mother?

There's really no choice, now is there?

You have to kill him.

Now I say that's a

purgatory-heaven situation.

What do you say?

Well, it used to be you

could count on your sports

seasons in this country.

Now you've got fall

baseball, soccer...

which never quits...

and now lacrosse,

squeezing itself in wherever it can.

I mean, are we even in America anymore?

Yo know it's an Indian game.

What, lacrosse?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, let me guess...

we stole it from them.

Sometimes I think you take

that whole my grandmother was

an American Indian

thing a little too far.

McAllister Sports?

Oh, hey, Hal.

Sure.

Hey, Hal.

What?

Well, no.

No, I know he's your son-in-law,

Hal, but does he even bowl?

OK.

OK.

Well, how bad is Jesus?

Yeah, no, I'm fine with it.

I'll see you there.

What... what

happened?

Jesus sawed off the tips of

his middle and his index finger

on a job... on his

bowling hand no less.

He's in a cast for three weeks...

right before the Fiesta Cup.

Thanks, Jesus.

Thanks.

Thank you.

I'm sure he didn't mean to.

Aw, I mean, come on.

Even on his best days Jesus

could never replace Rick.

But I thought, you know, maybe

we might still have a shot,

but now we've got Hal's son-in law who

bowled a little in high school.

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