Santa's Slay Page #2

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for those of you planning | on rocking out with Hell's Bells...

One for the kids | who like to get toys

Two for the ones | who like to make noise

Three for Santa | because he rolls with elves

And if you're feeling my flavor, | just rock the bells!

You don't care too much | for Christmas, do you?

- I've never had much reason to. | - Why?

I don't know. | It's always disappointing.

Like I'd want an Optimus Prime | or Castle Grayskull,

and I'd always end up with | a stupid mini-bake oven or something.

Grandpa.

Grandpa, are you home?

Grandpa?

Grandpa, is that you?

- Agh! | - Whoa!

Doggone it, Nick!

That's the second box of bulbs | I've dropped tonight.

What in the hell are you doing? | Why didn't you answer me?

Don't be throwing the word "hell" | around all willy nilly like that.

I live in Hell, for Christ's sake.

True.

That's way you dare not use | the Lord's name so indiscriminately.

One of the lights | in the bunker went out.

I flipped the switch. | You know, I couldn't remember

whether it was | on or off position.

And so I had to turn the power off | just to change the light bulb.

Bunker? What are you | talking about?

Aw, are you kidding me?

You're not on another one of your | wacko inventing binges, are you?

Is this why I haven't seen you | for the last couple of days?

Yeah, I've been busy.

Hey, what's this?

Uh, be careful there. | That's a nutcracker.

I can see that. It just seems | a little Christmassy for you.

Do you know that the chestnut can | explode if you don't puncture the skin

- before it's heated? | - That's fascinating, Grandpa.

I told you to be careful!

You could have | put your eye out!

There appears to be a design flaw | that needs to be worked out.

File that next to brown-colored | toilet paper as a bad idea.

Now what about that bunker?

Watch your noodle there.

Um...

Grandpa, I-I...

Any desire to explain?

I mean, sometimes I think | I'm the only person in this town

that doesn't believe | you're completely nuts and...

uh, frankly,

my belief is dwindling.

Let them think | whatever they want to.

This is about survival. | I know what they say.

I've been hearing it | most of my life,

but I'd rather be crazy and alive | than ignorant and dead.

No, Santa

A big surprise for you...

What up, Santa b*tch?

How much Christmas cheer | you got in the pot?

Don't cry, baby, | Santa's back in town

Get the presents, | candy canes, too

Rudolph is here, | he's coming for you

Don't cry, baby, | don't cry

You were bad | all year long

Now there's nothir... | nothir you can do

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Grandpa, I used to think it was because | you were grumpy and a little senile,

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