Rustlers' Rhapsody Page #4

Why don't you all come in,

make yourselves comfortable.

- We'll gab about it.

- Well, we can't, colonel.

We have to, you know, go to town,

see the doctor about our hands.

- And it's a weeknight.

- Yeah.

Oh, all right, good night!

Oh, by the way,

have any of you seen my daughter?

- No.

- No. No, sir, colonel.

She's probably

out riding Wildfire.

There's one little lady

who can take care of herself.

Help! Help!

Help!

ln the '60s, they started making

these spaghetti Westerns.

l was always jealous

of these guys

because they had better

background music than we did.

They all got to wear

those great raincoats,

even when it was 110

in the shade.

Trouble was, you could hardly

understand anything they said.

Colonel, don't you think

you and me ought

to work together?

l mean, l know

our men dress differently,

but look what we have

in common.

We're both rich.

We're both power-mad.

And we're both colonels. Now,

that's got to count for something.

Tell me...

Tell me about this stranger

who shoots men in the hand.

Could his presence here

result in an all-out range war?

Well, maybe not a range war exactly,

but certainly a lot of killing.

You have my word on that,

a lot of it!

All right.

Count us in.

Oh, good, good, good.

Now, the first thing

we have to do

is keep the element

of surprise.

This fancy-shooting fella

has got to be kept

completely in the dark

about what we're doing.

Hey, look!

What the...?

Somebody pull

the emergency brake!

- Quick!

- No! Don't!

Get the horses!

We can't.

We left them at the station.

Oh, you idiots!

What were we supposed

to do, buy them tickets?

Have you got three rifles

with telescopic sights?

Yes.

You missed!

How could you miss?

Even with these sights, we got

a target 100 yards away or more.

We've never fired

these weapons before!

There's a definite wind factor,

and we've got a problem with the sun!

Just shoot, OK?

Well, hell, we're gonna

be here all day.

This isn't going

to be easy, is it?

On, Wildfire, on!

Have you got a light?

Yeah, l got a light.

Your butt and my face.

Now, wait a minute.

l got a match.

Yeah, and it's...

It's not your butt.

lt's... It's my butt!

Yeah, my butt and...

My butt and...

Hi, stranger,

wanna know what's going on?

l'm the town doctor, you fool.

- Oh, yeah. Hi, doc. How's it going?

- Bartender, shot of bourbon.

l didn't recognize you.

You look like you seen a ghost.

l've seen worse than that.

- Where's the hair?

- It's in there.

Last night, five men came to me,

all complaining of hand injuries.

Almost identical.

Not more than 20 minutes ago,

three more men came in

with the same wound.

- Is that a coincidence?

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