Rustlers' Rhapsody

Synopsis: While the audience watches a black and white horse opera, a narrator's voice wonders what such a movie would be like today. Rex O'Herlihan, The Singing Cowboy, finds himself in color and enters a cliché-ridden town, in which the evil cattle baron (Andy Griffith) and the new Italian cowboys (who always wear raincoats no matter how hot it gets) join forces to get him and the sheep ranchers to leave the valley.
Genre: Comedy, Western
Director(s): Hugh Wilson
Production: Paramount Pictures
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.4
Rotten Tomatoes:
18%
PG
Year:
1985
88 min
55 Views

This is how evey Rex O'Herlihan

movie ever made always start.

lt was the same evey time.

And they made

52 of them in all

bemeen the years

1938 and 1947.

Sounds like trouble.

On, Wildfire, on!

1947 was the year the lights

sort ofwent out for Rex.

Yeah, he never did

much aner that.

Always made me wonder what one

ofthese B Westerns would look like.

You know, if they still

made them today.

On, Wildfire, on!

ln the first place,

the bad guys probably

wouldn't all be such cowards.

Rex probably wouldn't

be so damn pemect all the time.

Root's beginning to work.

The prairie sun has

Kissed the day gbye

Yeah, it's definitely kicking in now.

The wind behind me

Sounds like it may cy

Here we go.

Now l hear the lonesome

Whistle of a quail

As l ride alone

Along the tumbleweed trail

The road ahead is as endless

As the one l le behind

But there are no ties

To hold me down

Because l was born

The drining kind

With just a faithful horse

for company

And a saddle for my home

l ride alone

l ride alone

- Morning, ma'am.

- Morning.

Glass of warm milk, please.

Make it a sarsaparilla.

ls this one of those

really tough bars?

Well, let me have a large glass of warm

gin served with a human hair in it.

Coming up.

This here stoy

is about the time

the most wondeul and interesting

thing happened to Rex.

He met me.

Let me guess.

You're new here at Oaood

Estates, aren't you, mister?

You buy me a drink,

l'll tell you what's going on.

Bartender, make that two.

OK, OK.

Here's what's happening.

Most of these people are nobodies.

Forget about them.

That group,

those are the sheepherders.

They're the good guys.

Work hard, don't bother nobody.

But they smell God-amul.

Must be the sheep.

Makes you wanna kill them

sometimes. Oh, yeah.

Now, over here is the sheriff.

Obviously a corrupt coward

who takes his orders from the colonel.

- The colonel?

- Yeah, the colonel.

The power-mad cattle baron

who really runs the town.

Oh, yeah.

Can l have another drink?

l'm the town drunk, you know.

- Sure.

- Warm gin!

Hold the hair.

Who's that, over there?

That's Miss Tracy.

She solicits drinks,

hooks on the side.

But you know, she doesn't actually

go to bed with her customers.

She iust talks dirty to them.

And underneath that eerior

is a heart of gold.

Yeah.

How did you know that?

l know.

Of course, l don't have

to pay for sex myself.

You'll excuse me, won't you?

Hi, wanna know what's going on?

l smell sheep.

Bad guys, work for the colonel.

Now, there wouldn't happen to be any

sheepherders in here, would there?

l'm not wearing a gun.

And l'm not going to do anything

that might in any way cause you...

lt's a tough town.

Sory about the table,

saloon owner.

That's OK, Blackie.

No problem.

Since it's Tuesday,

have a free drink.

- It's on the house.

- Blackie.

You can kill me too,

if you want.

But l think it's exactly

this type of thing

that drives down property values

here in Oaood Estates...

That was the town doctor.

l'm kidding.

Just some real-estate guy.

Sory about that, sheriff.

Well, you certainly don't

have to apologize to me.

These fellows were

driving you crazy.

l swear, sometimes

l don't know how you put up with it.

Anybody else got

anything to say?

l do.

l think you're out of order, Blackie.

What do you know?

You're just a prostitute!

Who sells her body to anyone

with the financial wherewithal...

All right!

That'll be enough

of that kind of talk.

What in the hell are you?

Just a stranger passing through.

Where in the hell

did you get that shirt?

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Hugh Wilson

Hugh Hamilton Wilson (born August 21, 1943) is an American movie director, writer and TV showrunner. He is best known as the creator of the TV series WKRP in Cincinnati and Frank's Place, and as the director of the popular movie comedies Police Academy and The First Wives Club. more…

All Hugh Wilson scripts | Hugh Wilson Scripts

FAVORITE (1 fan)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this Rustlers' Rhapsody script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Rustlers' Rhapsody" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 23 Aug. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/rustlers%27_rhapsody_17281>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.