Roald Dahl's Esio Trot Page #4

being one of the small ones.

Oh, don't be silly.

Just think how miserable it must

make him to feel so titchy.

Mm.

We've been stuck on 13oz

since the day he arrived.

Didn't you want to be taller

when you were growing up?

I guess I did.

Yes.

When...

When I was a kid,

I used to wear thick socks to bed.

- What, to make yourself grow taller?

- Right.

I actually read that

"The warmer your feet,

"the deeper you sleep,

the more you grow."

But sadly, all I got was...

stinky feet.

Oh, no... Well, I was tiny too.

Oh.

And then when I was 11,

a boy in my class told me

that kissing made you grow taller.

- No!

- Yes.

So I paid him sixpence every day

to kiss me.

Well, you have to hand it to him.

And I did hand it to him.

On a plate.

Every morning at break.

Mind you, it did make me FEEL taller.

A kiss does that,

don't you think, Mr Hoppy?

I believe it does.

Oh, no.

Size is very important.

And Alfie's just at the beginning

of his size journey.

'That was the seed

that planted the idea.'

And the next day, it got a proper,

full-scale watering.

Alfie any bigger today, Mrs S?

Not a jot.

But I am knitting him

some little socks, just in case.

But I'm not giving up.

One day, I'll find the right food,

and the right exercise regime,

and the right vitamin supplement,

probably something to do

with fish oil.

Then at last we'll both be happy,

won't we, darling?

So, you don't think you'll ever

be totally happy until he grows?

I'm afraid not, Mr Hoppy.

Come on, pipsqueak,

finish your strawberry.

'And that night, the seed

that had been watered blossomed.

'And in Mr Hoppy's brain flowered

a plan to make Mrs Silver happy.

'And he thought if he could make

her happy then maybe, just maybe,

'he might be worthy

of winning her heart.'

HE MUMBLES:

Esio Trot.

Mrs Silver.

Oh, yes?

I think I may just be able

to help with the

Alfie-being-disappointedly-tiny

month-after-month thing.

Oh, Mr Hoppy.

If only you could, I would love

you for the rest of my days.

Oh. That'd be very nice.

The thing is, last night,

I suddenly remembered a conversation

I once had with a friend

at the airline

who'd been a pilot in North Africa

and he told me a conversation that

he once had with a Bedouin tribesman

who told him an extraordinary

tortoise-size-related secret.

- Really?

- Yes.

Oh, tell me! I beg you, Mr Hoppy.

Mrs Silver...

...I am going to lower this...

this piece of paper.

And, by the way, you were right.

Alfie can get bigger. But...

you must read this.

How exciting! What is it?

It's a Bedouin tortoise chant.

Oh, good lord.

"Esio Trot, Esio Trot...

"teg reggib reggib..."

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr Hoppy,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes