Roald Dahl's Esio Trot Page #3

best leave things as they are.

On the contrary,

I think you've got

a very good point.

It's high time

we got to know each other.

How about dinner tonight?

- That's very kind of...

- Excellent.

I'll pop round about six.

Open-neck shirt, possibly, give you

a glimpse of the old tan, eh?

Yummy.

So, Hoppy, it's wonderful

to have a chance to really,

really get to know you.

Find out about the man

behind the mask, as it were.

Yes, well, I...

It's so easy, in life,

to pass people in the lift

and never really get to grips with

who they are, where they come from.

- That's so true.

- So, tell me everything -

where you were born, where

you grew up, what job you did,

love, life, back problems -

the whole caboodle.

- Well, start at the beginning.

- Well... - Born?

Well, yes, I was born...

Never match my story, I suspect.

I was born in the back

of a Volkswagen Beetle

on Waterloo Bridge.

- Oh. - Dad went over a speed bump

and out I plopped.

Well, that's his story anyway.

- Oh, well, I-I-I...

- It was downhill from there, really.

Dad was in sausages,

we moved to Germany.

I spent from two until eight

feasting on frankfurters

und bratwurst,

and then sent straight back here

to boarding school.

You board?

- No, no...

- Got used to it, though.

Made a wonderful friend, Isherwood.

Huge feet...

tiny ears.

Are you done?

So there I was, assistant manager.

Only 23.

Still allergic to cats,

unfortunately, but...

"You must be joking, Giles," I said,

and walked straight out,

still in full Wonder Woman

costume...

A whole octopus!

But that's enough about me -

what about you?

- Well, we may have to do me next time.

- Nonsense.

What brought you to England?

The full story.

OK. Ah.

My parents brought me here

when I was ten...

- No, you're right. - Unfortunately...

- It's too late.

Let's do same time next month.

It's all about you.

But don't let me forget to tell you

about the Alsatian

and my corduroy trousers.

Well. That's the way it goes,

I guess.

'Mr Hoppy went to bed that night

feeling terribly alone.

'Knowing in his bones

that he always would be alone.

'No Mrs Silver for him.'

Ow!

'He couldn't help but wonder,

'is this all there is?

'Old age is scary and all downhill.'

But the very next morning,

a conversation occurred

that changed Mr Hoppy's life.

Good morning, Mrs Silver.

Alfie's looking well this morning.

Likes his food.

Yes. Well, we both live in hope.

Oh.

What are you both hoping for?

Well, obviously,

that he'll grow a little faster.

Every month I weigh him

on the kitchen scales,

he never puts on an ounce.

Well, no, I believe tortoises

come in different sizes.

There's nothing wrong with Alfie

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes