Pot o' Gold Page #4

# Fascinating Pete the Piper Man. #

Boys, look who's here. Grady.

Grady!

Oh, Molly!

Grady's been pounding the beat

out by the dumps.

A little argument

with old man Haskel.

You should have been here.

You'd have been even for life.

What happened? Oh, boy. Plenty.

What they call poetic justice.

It must've been good.

It was perfect.

Well, come on. Come on. Out with it.

Old man Haskel came steaming over

here, and he got hit with a tomato.

Right in the kisser.

It was a soft one, naturally.

The hit-and-run kind.

Nobody knows who did it, I hope.

Nobody but me. But I'm big-hearted.

Boys, meet the sharpshooter.

Molly McCorkle, will you never

learn to keep your big mouth shut?

What did I say? Too much.

Open up, boys. Open up.

Open up. Open up.

My boy, you should have a medal.

Instead, I have to give you this.

Thanks very much. What is it?

A warrant for assault and battery.

Old man Haskel swore it out.

Come on, son.

Wait. Wait a minute.

Wouldn't you like to give me

a good kick before you go?

It's OK. It's been fun here.

I enjoyed jumping over those fences.

If I get this thing straightened

out...I hope you let me come back.

And thanks for that doughnut.

It was... It was all right.

Er...well, come on, Grady.

Yeah, yeah.

Next case.

Hold everything.

We'll be right there.

Molly, where are you? Come on!

Order! Order in the court room!

Mrs McCorkle, sit down.

Listen, Mike.

Don't get on your

high horse with me. Sit down!

Now, what's this case all about?

Young man, what's your name?

My name?

I'd prefer your real name.

Er...well, my name is...

James Hamilton...

James Hamilton. Put that down.

Where do you live, James Hamilton?

He lives with us.

419, 63rd Street.

Tell me, James, how did you get

enmeshed in the coils of the law?

I threw a tomato.

He's too modest, Mike.

Hit him with a bull's-eye

right in old man Haskel's face.

He did?

Where were we? I'd just thrown

the tomato, Your Honour.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Now tell me, Jimmy, my boy,

did you with premeditation

and intent aim at Mr Haskel's face?

Well...

He refuses to answer on the grounds

that he might incriminate himself.

You certainly know the law.

Having weighed the evidence,

the court rules

that the case be postponed

and the defendant released on bail.

Provided anybody has any money.

Is 200 enough?

That was the exact sum

the court had in mind. Who has it?

I have it, Your Honour.

The clerk will accept it.

Next case. Thank you, Mike.

Stand aside, please.

Move over Who are you pushing?

Take it easy, will you?

Don't push me!

Here comes double pneumonia. Open

the windows. I smell stale tomatoes.

Very funny, Mrs McCorkle.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes