One Night at McCool's Page #4

and then you or whoever

comes to my rescue

and takes me home, and then...

He like shows up

and we rob you.

What?

We rob you.

I mean, do you believe that?

I'm shocked.

I- I take it this is

something that

you-you've done before?

Just a couple of times.

I know it sounds sick,

but you don't know Utah, he's nuts.

How does he know

where we are, anyway?

I'm supposed to

call him and tell him.

You-you haven't

done that yet, have you?

Of course not!

Oh, good.

Good...

Um...okay.

I got it.

Don't call him.

Let's call the police instead.

Not if you ever

want to see me again.

Oh, right.

Y'know, I generally

think better

with my shoes on, so...

This guy Utah,

is he a mormon?

Uh, I wouldn't say that.

Oh. I didn't think so.

You know, this guy...

He sounds like

a ma Jor piece of sh*t, you know?

You wouldn't be

talkin' about me,

would ya, loverboy?

Wh-why didn't you call?

I was Just about to.

Has this guy

got anything worth takin'?

Old TV, a VCR.

He's got a boom box,

but only one speaker works.

A Mr Coffee machine.

Telephone, um...

Oh yeah, and one light

hooked upto the clapper.

Hey, that was my mom's.

Shut your f***in' mouth!

You stand there,

you call me a piece of sh*t!

Huh? I'm the piece of sh*t?

I'm here with my lady,

you understand?

It is a touchy situation!

Has he got a car?

No.

No?

He's pathetic!

You-you don't

got a car?

Everybody's

got a car today -

Even bums don't

not got a car!

What do you do when

you take a chick out,

you go on a bus?

Think you're gonna

get laid on a bus?

Think you're gonna

give some chick

the f***in' monster on a bus?

Huh?

I got a car...

The "piece of sh*t's" got a car!

What about Jewelry,

has he got Jewelry?

Just a Swatch

Nice leather band, though.

Oh yeah?

Take it off.

C'mon, you're so slow.

It's right over here.

Awright, you're up,

slugger, let's go.

You want me to open it?

No, I want you

to dance with it -

Move!

Okay.

And if there's

a gun in there, Just leave it.

'Cause you'll

pull it out, you'll get nervous,

you'll wind upmiss in' me,

then I gotta do

what I gotta do with what I got.

Look at me.

Look at me

when I talk to you!

I can't look at you

and look at the safe at the same time.

Oh, excuse me, okay.

You're the big-shot now,

I'm nobody, right?

Okay, I'm over here now.

Excuse me.

Got any other features

on this watch?

It's got a stopwatch.

It's got a stopwatch?

I never figured out

how to use it.

It's simple,

it's this button -

Oh...

What happened?

He was gonna kill you.

Really?

I mean,

he was Just -

He could definitely

tell that there was

something going on

between us, y'know?

How?

Because I've never

actually slept with

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