O Lucky Man!

If you have a friend

On whom you think you can rely

You are a lucky man

If you found the reason

To live on and not to die

You are a lucky man

Preachers, and poets

And scholars don't know it

Temples, and statues

And steeples won't show it

If you've got the secret

Just try not to blow it

Stay a lucky man

A lucky man

If you've found the meaning

Of the truth in this old world

You are a lucky man

If knowledge hangs around your neck

Like pearls instead of chains

You are a lucky man

Takers, and fakers and talkers

Won't tell you

Teachers and preachers

Will just buy and sell you

When no one can tempt you

With heaven or hell

You'll be a lucky man

Takers, and fakers and talkers

Won't tell you

Teachers and preachers

Will just buy and sell you

When no one can tempt you

With heaven or hell

You'll be a lucky man

You'd be better by far

To be just what you are

You can be what you want

If you are what you are

And that's a lucky man

Oh, yeah, a lucky man

And that's a lucky,

A lucky, a lucky man

A lucky, a lucky, a lucky man

- Hello.

- Hello.

Do you realize this Nigerian coffee

is being packed straight back to

Nigeria?

Frightening, isn't it?

- Been here long?

- Mr. Travis?

- Long enough.

- Mr. Travis!

- Oh, see you.

- Yeah.

This Hessler is our latest machine.

It gives a four-sided seal

and runs 72 packs a minute.

Any fault in the plastic packing

can cause a break.

The coffee is returned

to our patent coffee processor.

Now, why is that? Mr. Biles?

- I've been off sick, sir.

- Eliminates waste, sir.

Absolutely correct.

Always remember, gentlemen,

that you are a failure in catering...

...if you don't know what to do

with your leftovers.

Right, I'll take them off

your hands now, Mr. Stone.

Follow me, gentlemen.

Now, gentlemen...

...you have learned

the number one truth.

That a cup of Imperial Coffee

is the only proper way to finish a

meal.

Be it in a palace or a prison.

But between the making

and the drinking must stand the

salesman.

This is where you come in.

You will be our representatives

in the frontline.

Each one of you is going to have

to prove himself on the battlefield

of sales.

It's a hard road you'll have to

travel.

There will be whole days

when you won't sell a bean...

...but you will go out the very next

day

and hit the jackpot.

Mr. Duff, may I ask a question?

- Certainly, Mr. Travers.

- Travis.

Beg your pardon.

How much does a top salesman get paid?

Your basic salary will be low, of

course,

11.50 pounds per week, before tax.

But for a good man, with commission,

the sky is the limit.

Our star salesman at the moment...

...a wonderful man called Jim

Oswald...

...takes home anything

from 75 pounds...

...to 150 pounds a week.

Now, I have never lied to you...

...never given you false hopes...

...but I believe in you.

With a coffee pack in one hand

and your sales list in the other...

...I want you to be one long line...

...of shining success.

From John O'Groat's to Land's End.

Now, selling is psychology.

A good salesman must know

something about psychology.

And in that particular field,

I can think of no better authority...

...than our chief of public relations,

Mrs. Gloria Rowe.

Mr. Spalding, please.

Come here, Mr. Spalding.

Smile.

Smile, Mr. Spalding.

Imperial product is good.

But people don't buy things

just because they're good.

They have to believe.

And you have to inspire that belief.

You have to believe.

Remember the words of William Blake.

"A sincere belief that anything is so,

will make it so."

Sincerity. Honesty.

Mr. MacIntyre, Mr. Travis,

Mr. Greasy.

- Thank you, Mr. Spalding.

- Thank you.

Hello, Mr. MacIntyre.

Smile.

Give with all your heart.

Don't think of yourself.

Relax those cheek muscles.

Smile, Mr. MacIntyre.

Mr. Travis.

Morning, Mrs. Rowe.

Now, that is sincerity.

That is a completely sincere smile.

If I was a buyer

and these were two travellers...

...Id definitely buy from the guy I

like.

I'd definitely buy

from the sincere personality.

I'm definitely going to buy from you,

Mr. Travis.

Lecture hall here. Duff speaking.

Now, Mr. Travis,

I want you to smile at Mr. Greasy.

Mr. Greasy, smile back

and give Mr. Travis a firm handshake.

Certainly. Right away, sir.

Mr. Greasy,

don't think I'm being personal...

...but we're when dealing with food

products, hygiene must be our motto.

Make sure you've got clean

fingernails.

- Mrs. Rowe?

- Yes.

The chairman wants to see us

immediately.

Take a break, gentlemen.

I'll see you on the shop floor in 20

minutes.

Gentlemen, I have very bad news.

Oswald has left the Northeast.

Left?

Vanished. Disappeared.

No notice. Nothing.

Just one ruddy great hole on the map.

And that's not all.

Oswald is suspected of trafficking in

stolen goods under imperials name.

- My God.

- Oh, God.

Well, I need an immediate replacement.

Mr. Duff, how are your trainees?

They're very good, sir.

But they need another two weeks.

No, no, I can't wait.

Mrs. Rowe.

Now, what's your instinct say?

Who's my man?

Can you sniff him?

Travis.

That's your man.

Travis, we're in a jam.

You heard about Oswald?

It's a case of all hands to the pumps.

I understand, sir.

Now, Mrs. Rowe

has spoken highly of you...

...and I have never known her wrong...

...so I'm going to play her hunch.

I'm giving you the Northeast.

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