O. Henry's Full House Page #5

A good quartet number.

- Do you happen to know Johnny Kernan?

- Who?

- Kernan. Johnny Kernan.

No, I don't

believe I do.

Thanks.

- Something I can do for you?

- No, thanks.

There.

It's Johnny Kernan.

But he's only

been registered a week.

- Maybe it isn't the same one.

It's the same one.

Look, I'm not full owner.

There isn't gonna be any trouble.

He's the best wrestler

l ever saw.

Whenever the referee

ain't lookin', he gets 'em.

- Give me a beer.

- How's the bock holding out?

- Fine, fine.

- Guess who! Go ahead! Guess.

Guess who. Guess who.

- I don't have to guess.

- Hello, Johnny.

The big man,

Barney Woods.

I bet you'd have known me

anywhere by that trick, huh?

I'd have known you

anywhere.

Give him a big drink. We're old pals

from back in Erie, P.A.

- Long time ago, huh, Barney?

- Yeah.

He ordered a beer.

- He just finished it.

- Now get him a real drink.

- Yes, sir.

Clam head! Oughta give him

a mouthful of knuckles.

What about the old bunch back at

the hotel? See Gimp Charlie much?

Oh, I lost track years ago.

I've been living here for a long time.

No foolin'!

Wish I did.

I'm just passing through.

Going to Chicago tonight.

Hey, uh, whatever happened to, uh, uh, Hazel-

Hazel? Was that her name?

- Yeah. I married her.

- No foolin'!

Bet you got a ton of kids by now, huh?

Oh, that was some place

around the Star-Union Hotel.

Remember

SoreJaw Weber, huh?

And the singin'!

We must have did a hundred songs.

- Hey, you.

- Yeah?

- You know "Sweet Genevieve"?

- A little.

A little! Clam head! That's one of

the best songs there was!

Don't forget

the "Camptown Races."

The best. The best! The best!

The absolute best!

- You know that one?

- Yeah.

Yeah. Him and me won a prize doing that one.

Quartet out at the picnic grounds.

Go ahead.

Start it up.

Go on! Open your throat!

Start! Sing, will you?

Come on! Sing!

Ah, that's good, huh? Wish we had the Doc

and Jonesy for balance though.

Come on, ya monkey!

Clap! That was good.

Clap!

Okay.

How 'bout "Heart of My Heart"?

Oh, I don't know, Johnny. Why don't we go

somewhere where we can talk?

Sure, sure.

The old times, huh?

Come on upstairs.

I got a jug.

We'll belt a few, have the old times

all over again, huh?

I doubt it. We had 'em once.

We can belt a few anyway.

Sure.

Look at you.

What are you doing here?

Get out! Get out.

Go to your room!

We wanna talk!

Can I stay and talk

too, Johnny?

Move, or I'll knock some

of that fat off of you!

What a nerve, huh?

- What do you want?

- The kitten. I've got to have something to do.

Yeah, kitten!

Here. Now, get out!

Now, where's the food, huh?

Ah, here it is.

For a man that's just passing through,

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