Nutty Professor II: The Klumps

Well, look what rolled in.

You know, at first, I thought you was

old-ass Raisinet riding on a skateboard.

I'd like to come over there and choke the

life out of you right in front of Jesus.

Sweet Lord, give me strength. Don't make

me have to whup nobody's head in church.

Ignore him, Lord.

Ignore all his prayers.

He ain't nothing, never did nothing.

Give him a stroke or something.

Do you, Sherman Klump?

Yes, I do.

Indeed, I do.

Happy day, happy day.

Happy day, my ass.

Oh, he look handsome.

Oh, my baby's finally getting married. Never

thought I'd live to see the day. Finally.

Oh, here she comes.

Here she comes.

I'm gonna cry. I promised myself I'm

wasn't gonna cry. Now I'm gonna cry.

Yeah, all right.

Dynamite.

You may be seated.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank God.

I always knew he'd find

the right girl. Always knew.

You see the Indian in her cheekbones?

Ooh! Sherman, Sherman. Sherman.

Sherman, Sherman, Sherman.

Sherman! Oh, Lord.

Shh, my baby's so stupid.

Dearly beloved,

we have gathered here today...

...to join these two people

in holy matrimony.

- Praise the Lord.

- The eminent scientist, Professor Sherman Klump...

- Mm-hmm.

- And his longtime sweetheart...

Denise Gaines.

Oh, Sherman.

If anyone has any reason why these two

should not be wed, let him speak now...

...or forever hold his penis.

Oh, Sherman.

That's it, son. Show 'em

what the Klumps are made of!

- Sherman, put that away.

- Sherman, calm down, baby. Save it for the honeymoon.

Surprise!

- Hey, Sherman, calm down, boy.

What's wrong with you?

Now that boy could use

some ass freshener!

- This is some scary shit.

- Yeah, like The Outer Limits.

No, don't hurt yourself, baby.

You are coming with Buddy.

- No! No!

- See you later, chunky butt!

No!

And then I wake up

in a cold sweat.

And then I wake up

in a cold sweat.

How often do you have this

dream? More and more lately.

You seem to be very fond

of this girl, Denise.

My God, she is so special to me.

But how's she gonna love me when I got Buddy

Love inside me? I wanna be perfect for her.

Perfect?

No one is perfect, Sherman.

You need to understand that

Buddy Love is a representation...

...of the uninhibited,

hedonistic id.

- He is not a real person.

- Buddy Love is real!

Well, he was real, and he does

take control of me sometimes.

You will never learn to control him... Sherman!

...until you accept the fact

that he is a part of you.

Yeah, and the best part too! And

I'll tell you something else, punk!

All these diplomas on this wall

don't make up for the fact...

...that you got a little Vienna

sausage in your drawers.

- Is that why they call you

a shrink? - Shut up, fat a-

Sorry.

Yeah, yes. Session got a little outta

- Outta control.

You see, we all have

a little Buddy Love inside us.

Yeah. But we can't let him rule our lives.

You're in charge, Sherman.

Can you say that for me?

I'm in charge.

Can't hear you.

- I'm in charge.

- Can't hear you!

I'm in charge!

Sorry about that.

Yeah. Klump in charge! I'm in charge!

He's right. I am in charge.

Klump in charge. Yes, indeed.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Yeah.

Hey, Professor Klump. How's it

going? Fantastic. How about yourself?

Yeah.

Klump in charge.

Afternoon. Good day. Hi.

How you doing?

Wonderful day.

- Beautiful day, isn't it, Professor?

- Bite me, old hag. Oh!

- What?

- Uh, uh, I said, he likes me. Look at him wag.

Hey, little fella.

See that little tail wagging?

Have a good day. I'm in charge. My goodness.

Kinda hot today, huh, Professor?

You have no idea how hot it is.

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