National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Page #4

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It's in the basement. We'll get it later.

Clark? Dinner's ready.

Okay, honey. I'm starving.

Obviously something broke the window.

Something hit the stereo.

And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?

I don't know, Margo.

You wanna hurry this up, Clark?

I'm freezing my baguettes off.

Two hundred and fifty strands of lights,

100 individual bulbs per strand...

...for a grand total of 25,000

imported Italian twinkle lights.

Twenty-five thousand.

I hope nobody I know drives by...

...and sees me standing in the yard,

staring at my house in my pajamas.

If they know your dad,

they won't think anything of it.

Fire it up!

I dedicate this house

to the Griswold family Christmas.

Drum roll, please.

Drum roll.

"Joy to the world."

Beautiful, Clark.

Talk about pissing your money away.

I hope you kids see what a silly waste

of resources this was.

He worked really hard, Grandma.

So do washing machines.

Let's get in where it's warm.

Clark, baby, I can picture it

in my mind and it's breathtaking.

Thanks, Mom.

It's probably a bad bulb. You know, if

one goes out, the whole thing won't work.

If I were you,

I'd personally check each one.

I did that, Dad.

If you need any help, give me a holler.

I'll be upstairs asleep.

I'm sorry, Daddy. It looks good,

even if they're not lit.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Well, Dad, it was a good try.

Thanks, Russ.

We checked every bulb, didn't we?

I'm sure of it.

Maybe we ought to go up there and just...

Geez! Look at the time.

I have to go to bed.

Brush my teeth, feed the hog.

I still got some homework to do,

do the laundry, wash the car...

Don't stay up too late.

Get off me, you little fungus.

Where the hell is that cold coming from?

- I need just a few more...

- Pay by check, if you can.

- Not a card?

- No, it's a hassle if you have to return.

Help!

Daddy. Is Clark coming?

How the hell would I know?

Is he in the house?

If he's not farting around

with the lights, he must be.

I'm sure he wants to come shopping

and have lunch with us.

He's got another car. He can drive.

I have to eat so I can take my back pill.

I want to take off these clothes,

sit with a glass of wine...

...and kiss every inch of your body.

- After you shower, of course.

- Of course.

- Sparky?

- Yes, honey.

Are you out here for a reason,

or are you just avoiding the family?

I still have a couple hundred

more bulbs to check.

Meantime, I can light the Santa...

...and the eight tiny reindeer

and the "Merry Christmas" sign.

That should look good. Ready?

Want me to do the drum roll thing?

No, it's okay. Here goes nothing.

I don't understand it.

The house lights don't work,

the floodlights don't work.

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