Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List Page #4

We're 21st-century new yorkers.

We don't believe in god.

We don't believe in anything.

Whoa, I don't

not believe in anything.

I believe in the no-kiss list

And coconut cupcakes.

And I believe in you.

Snuggle me.

Since when do you actually

go around kissing boys?

Since there's actually some

super cute boys for me to kiss.

But in high school,

you never even...

High school, shmigh school.

Yuck.

Okay. In high school,

My sexuality

was purely hypothetical.

College gay's different.

Now, I can, like...

Actually meet guys.

Lots of guys.

So... Now you're, like...

Totally gay?

I've always been totally gay.

Right.

Of course.

I mean... Obviously.

But nothing has to change,

right?

I mean,

we're still Naomi and ely?

Of course

we're still Naomi and ely.

Now, we're just Naomi

and ely plus boys.

Hmm?

Beddy-bye time.

Naomi:

I lie to everyone.

But mostly...

I think I lie to myself.

Closer. Closer.

And say "Carrie".

- Both:
Carrie.

- Thanks.

So tell me, are you gonna

do it with Bruce 2?

Yet to be determined.

You've been dating for,

like, a month

Which translates to, like,

a year in college time,

And you're still doing things

that end with "alking"

Instead of things

that end in "ucking."

What are you waiting for?

I don't know.

If I get chocolate,

would you go coconut?

Mmm, I want it all.

But here's a thing...

he's, "a,"

- Kind of obsessed with me.

- Right.

- "B," Canadian.

- Yes.

And "C," a Bruce,

which is just kind of...

- Redundant.

- I was thinking more vanilla.

- Mm-hmm. Oh, my god.

- Ooh, speaking of.

- But...

- Yeah?

He tells me I'm his muse,

which is interesting, no?

Ooh. That's nice.

That's nice.

Anyways, I told him to pick me

up at the building tonight.

So you, like, actually like him?

I mean, I don't know.

Maybe I do.

And like you said,

we're in college anyway.

So, I mean, there's no reason

we shouldn't do it.

Right?

Well, what do you think?

Would you kill me if

I'm too strung out for sugar?

Read my mind much?

Home?

Yeah, home.

Awesome.

Can I help you?

Yeah.

I'm here to pick up Naomi?

You must be Bruce 2.

O, Canada

That's you, big guy.

Naomi will be right down.

She is just bleaching

her lady beard.

Girl was looking

borderline Frida Kahlo.

So not pretty.

I like that.

It's nice.

Hello, everyone.

How are we doing?

Bruce 1, meet Bruce 2.

- Hi.

- Hi.

So what are we all doing here?

We're waiting for Naomi.

What about Naomi?

- Hey.

- Hey.

So, uh, you set?

- Yeppers.

- Let's fly.

He's... Coming, too.

Okay, I know, I know, I know,

I shouldn't love a girl

Who toys so carelessly

with other people's emotions,

Especially mine,

but it's not like my brain

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