Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List

Synopsis: Incoming NYU freshmen and childhood neighbors Naomi and Ely have been in love with each other their whole lives, even though Ely isn't exactly into girls. The institution of a "No Kiss List" has prevented the two from rifts in the past, but their bond is tested when they both fall for the same guy. The once-inseparable pair must figure out if their friendship is strong enough to get past such an epic predicament as they struggle with the realities of growing up.
89 min


Some friendships

are so important,

You'd do anything

to make them last.

That's why Ely and I created

the no-kiss list.

What exactly is a no-kiss list,

you ask?

Well, hold on a second.

I'll get there.

Muggies, late for school.

- No.

- No.

- Switch.

- Yeah, switch.

Mm, much better.

Oh, by the way, student revolt,

classes cancelled.

- That sucks. Oh, well.

- So funny, Pinocchio.

Any more,

you're gonna need a nose job.

One thing

you should know about me...

18 years of apartment living,

and you still believe pressing

- The down button speeds up the elevator's arrival.

- Implicitly.

...I lie all the time.

Good morning, Mrs. Loy.

I lied to Mrs. Loy

that I walked her dog

Three times a day when she went

to Atlantic city.

But honestly,

I think that dog hates me.

- Close it. Close it.

- Close it!

Good morning,

Mr. Mcallister.


Let's do this.

I like it.

Love it.


I lie to myself

that it's meaningless

When I don't tell Ely

that Gabriel,

The beautiful new doorman,

may occasionally text me.

- Hey, how's it going?

- And I lied to Bruce the first

When I let him let him he ever

had a shot at being my first.

I hope the day

continues to be good.

If it hasn't been good

then I hope it changes...

All right.

Step aside, kids.

- Bye, boys. Bye!

- Have a great day.

Well, that was fun.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- We're going this way.

- Oh, take me away!


Fraulein, have you ever noticed

That Gabriel's left eye

is greener than his right?

Ely, you insult me.

What are you taking me for,

some sort of amateur doorman stalker?

That's only the 37th thing

I love most about him.

Oh, my god, Naomi, remind me to

introduce you to this guy.

Freshman film freak,

goes by the name of, uh,

Bruce the second.

- He's your boyfriend.

- Oh. Right. Him,

But Gabriel's

just so gaze-worthy.

Okay. Clearly, Gabriel belongs

on the no-kiss list.

Fast, fast,

don't get hit by a moped.

- All right, keep up.

- You check the news. I'll stock up on snacks.

Why discriminate?

You know what I mean?

The no-kiss list is meant

for all truly,

Madly kissable boys,

like Robert Pattison.

It hurts knowing that person's

lips will never touch yours

Because of our ever-so-sacred

vow of no-kissing lists.

- Bye!

- Bye!

This is a new song, Otis?

Sure is, sweet baby.

Oh, I love it.

Let me tell you, baby,

what it is I'm looking for

There you go, baby.

Ain't more than a little bit

So if you got it, baby,

I'll adore you...

I'll walk you to class if we

can take the scenic route.

And I lied to Ely

that I'm okay with gay.

Do you see

that one on the left?

I am.

Just... Not for him.

- Do I have to?

- Yes.

Naomi, it's not high school

anymore, okay?

Have you seen the wreckage

of our lives, lately.

Seems psych might

be good for the soul.

Go in there.

Show 'em who's boss.

It's 110% you.

- You're beautiful. I love you.

- Come with me.

No. I can't. You got this.

It's all on you.

- Go. Go. Go. Git!

- Oh! No!

I don't wanna go!

- Hug me.

- No. No. No. Back.


Oh, I lied to the NYU

admissions committee

When I told them I had

a vision for my future.

Six weeks in,

and I can barely see straight.

Naomi, over here!

I saved you a seat.

Thanks, robin.

Good morning,

ladies and gentlemen.

We will be re-examining

chapter five in our textbook...

Oh, crap.

Ely always gives me a pen.

Thank you.

Access chapter five, page...


You wanna know why I lie

And what exactly ely meant

by the wreckage of our lives?

There's ely,

already making me feel better.

Ely and I have lived next door

to each other our whole lives.

I was there when his moms

could finally get married.

They may look happy here,

but it became a total sh*t show

When my dad had an affair

with Ely's mom, jenny.

The moms marriage survived...


But my parents' didn't.

So I started lying to my mom to

tell her she'd make it through.

It's not that I don't think

she can.

I just don't think

she wants to wake

From the pharmaceutical haze

she's been ever since dad left.

But ely and I

will always have each other.

We're city kids who never had

big backyards,

So we built our

own urban tree house

On top of the stairwell

in our building.

It's our private

hallowed ground.


Miss? Miss? Hello?

Are you finding it difficult

to concentrate

On our discussion of Freud

and the unconscious?

Well, it may have appeared

that I was zoning out.

I was actually exploring

the very power

Of my unconscious.

Is that so?


Paper lions:
she made a move

on me after I let a fire...

Hey, boo.

Yaffa cafe, stat.

I-I'm kind of in the middle

of something right now.

Ely, seriously, come on, please,

I need to talk to you.

My professor

just totally chewed me out.

It was humiliating.

Be in there in five.


I'll see you in ten.

Peel away my thickest skin

I hesitate

and you pull me in

pull me in

pull me I-I-n...

Bruce, are you seriously

gonna do that all semester?

What? I'm just trying

to capture your essence.

Oh, did I tell you?

I think I decided on a title

for my student film.

"Hot child in the city."


Oh, no, that's for ely!


That's... Cool.

Uh, I got Orson Welles.

I'll call you later?

Yeah. Sure.

Hi, Bruce.

Bye, Bruce.

So glad you're here.

I never noticed b2

had such good teeth.

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Amy Andelson

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 May 2024. <'s_no_kiss_list_14478>.

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