Mr. Popper's Penguins Page #4

Yes. Well, we're related.

But, Mrs. Van Gundy,

l want to talk about you

and your life beyond all of this.

Picture yourself in a boat on a river.

With tangerine trees

and kind of a marmalade sky.

l don't do drugs, Mr. Popper.

Let me tell you something.

l could sell this place

to any number of sharp-tongued

snake-oil salesmen like yourself.

But l'm not selling to anyone

until l know what they're worth.

You mean my net worth?

lf that's how you interpret it,

that tells me something.

Well, l'm afraid your time is up,

Mr. Popper.

The Tavern is not presently for sale.

l should have gone with Strawberry FieIds.

(COOlNG)

(PHONE LlNE RlNGlNG)

(MAN ON PHONE

GREETlNG lN FORElGN LANGUAGE)

Oh, good.

You sent me a package.

Uh. My name is Popper.

(lN FORElGN ACCENT) Popper?

You Captain Popper baby?

"Captain?"

Uh. . .

Yes, l'm Captain Popper baby.

My father, who is apparently your captain,

-had you send me a penguin.

-(PENGUlN SQUAWKlNG)

You like penguin? ls good, yes?

No, is bad.

Your captain was crazy.

(CHUCKLES) So crazy. I Iove.

Yeah. Well, l'm glad you had someone.

But listen,

l have to send this penguin back.

(STATlC)

What? Hello?

Hello? l have to send the penguin back.

Send penguin?

Yes! Send penguin. Send penguin.

l told you five times,

l have to send the penguin.

Five times. Send penguin. Okay.

Great. And the crate is damaged.

Can you send me another crate

so l can ship this thing?

(LlNE DlSCONNECTS)

Hello?

(SlGHS)

(GROANS lN FRUSTRATlON)

What am l going to do with you, bird?

(GASPlNG)

You !

You are so done.

(SQUAWKlNG)

No. No.

(SCREAMlNG)

(PHONE LlNE RlNGlNG)

(MAN ON PHONE

GREETlNG lN FORElGN LANGUAGE)

-POPPER:
Hello.

-Sorry, cannot take your phone call.

We will be closing one month

for ice festival!

(DOORBELL RlNGS)

Hey. Animal Control.

Got a call about a bird.

l am very happy to see you.

-Um. . .

-(PENGUlN SQUAWKS)

Oh. That's the little fella.

-What the. . .

-Go ahead. He's friendly.

l didn't know it was a penguin, okay?

l'm going to have to check the manual.

lt's not in the book.

Can't we just call it a pigeon?

Big, fat pigeon?

l can't touch it if it's not in the manual.

lt's a union violation.

Try Fish and Game.

No. You need Marine and Waterfowl.

Sorry, bud. Try NYC Sanitation.

Yeah. l only pick up the dead ones.

(COOS)

(COOlNG)

-(HONKlNG LOUDLY)

-(YELLlNG)

This way.

Okay, get. Go.

Skedaddle.

Waddle on down the road.

South Pole is that way.

Exit the building, take a right

and keep going.

Okay. Need a little help. l get it.

Watch this.

There you go!

Yes! Bye-bye, birdie.

Hey, Mr. P.

Yeah.

l got your penguin for you.

What? What are you talking about?

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