
Mother's Day
(5.00 / 2 votes)1
Ah, Mother's Day.
Paige, come on, honey,
you have to go to school.
I love being a mother.
But what about the other
364 days of the year?
When you're trying to
get your kid to school
and you're surviving
on very little sleep
because you're up all night sewing
costumes for the school play
and you've still got to go
to work in the morning.
Go.
It's about
the never-ending driving
to soccer,
gymnastics, or ballet.
to look up from their computer
or iPad or iPod or iPhone or
whatever "I" they're looking at.
Paige, wait, honey,
your banana, hold on, hold on!
It's okay, honey,
just eat the peach.
Eat the peach, it's fine.
In other words,
Mom! Mom!
Mom!
Peter...
Wait, wait, wait...
breathe, slow down, slow down,
breathe, hold on.
There you go. See?
Now tell me what happened.
Peter left the top
of the ant farm open.
All the ants are gone,
even the big red one.
Oh, why?
Why did I buy this for you guys?
I swear, I don't...
Hey, hey, hey, Peter,
where did that come from?
You know no junk food
for breakfast anymore.
Dad brought them.
He lets us.
He also lets you go to
school without any underwear.
It's called
free-balling, Mom.
I swear.
Where are all of these ants?
It happened in the backyard.
God. Peter, I'm not kidding.
I'm counting to three.
One, two...
Three.
What?
When did that stop working?
Come on,
I brought a box of donuts.
It's not a federal offense,
but I will take credit
for the underwear.
Good morning.
Hello.
Did you look this good
when we were married?
No, I actually got better.
When did you get in here?
I didn't even hear you come in.
Came in through the back door.
I mean, we don't want the neighbors
talking, do we?
Hmm. Are you hungry?
Mmm.
Here, have a donut.
Your parents are divorced,
right?
Oh, trust me, there's weirdness.
So, Peter, you decided
at 7:
45 in the morning?Hi.
We're meeting here
for the carpool today.
- And the donuts.
- At my request.
All right, you little hooligans,
let's go, time for school.
Load up.
stuff into the house anymore.
Yeah, but, uh, seriously,
could we have a conversation later?
There's something important
I need to talk to you about.
Sure, okay.
Okay.
Telephone.
Hey, Jess.
I ate a whole
coffee cake last night.
Pilates?
No, I can't.
I have way too much work.
But I've got to tell you,
the strangest thing just happened.
What?
totally checking me out,
like twice.
Was it like a long stare
or a gawk?
Jesse, you've got to see this!
I'm going to say like a gawk.
What does that mean?
I have no idea, but he said he
wants to sit down with me later
and talk about
something important.
What if he wants to
get back together?
What? No. No way.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
That is so not happening.
Why not?
Jesse.
You are the happiest
divorced couple I've ever met.
I mean, maybe he's
figured you're the one.
Max, get ready,
my sister's coming.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
there's no way.
That's not going to...
It's been years, it's all fine and...
You don't really...
Really, you think it might be?
Do you think?
Here's what I'm wondering.
If you guys get remarried,
does it mean the ring has to be bigger?
I'm saying yes.
Okay, you just keep
thinking all of those
wonderfully deep thoughts, okay?
I'll talk to you later.
Okay.
Presenting our float
for the Mother's Day parade.
Oh!
Wow!
Do you love it?
What is it?
Womb. It's a womb.
Of course.
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"Mother's Day" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 8 Feb. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mother's_day_14098>.
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