Moms' Night Out

Synopsis: All Allyson and her friends want is a peaceful, grown-up evening of dinner and fun - a long-needed moms' night out. But in order to enjoy high heels, adult conversation, and food not served in a bag, they need their husbands to watch the kids for a few hours ... what could go wrong?
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Andrew Erwin, Jon Erwin
Production: TriStar Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.5
Metacritic:
25
Rotten Tomatoes:
17%
PG
Year:
2014
98 min
Website
231 Views

Okay.

It's blog time.

I am a mommy blogger.

I am a mommy blogger.

Get ready, world, for some pearls

of wisdom, coming at you right now.

So here we go!

I got three followers.

Yesterday I had four,

so that's awesome.

My audience awaits.

It's 5:
00 a.m. Do you know

where your children are?

Mine are in bed.

I should be in bed.

It's Mother's Day.

But I'm not. Wanna know why?

Because I'm a clean freak!

I am talking freaky, deaky, Dutch.

If you were to lock me away in a

white room, in a straitjacket,

it would actually feel comforting.

As long as the walls were

spotless and nobody wore shoes.

I can actually feel

the house getting dirty.

Like I have nerve

endings in the carpet.

And it affects me.

Wanna know how?

First, I feel distracted.

"Distracted."

D-I-S... Oh, what was I...

So, see, like right now,

I'm thinking of the cleaning

supplies I left out

and how one of the kids is

gonna get up and drink Clorox

and then I'd end up having

to call Poison Control,

and they'd say,

"Sorry, Mrs. Field,

too many times this month."

And take my kids away.

Too many times

this month, Ms. Field.

We're here to take

your children away.

I've played it all out.

I'm sure you've

played this all out.

Which is kind of morbid.

After I feel distracted,

I feel stressed.

Then I have a moment.

Mom!

Mommy!

I am talking to Daddy!

This is me having a moment

with my daughter.

Hon, about the stress level.

- What?

- Well, it's a little high.

- Gee, uh...

- The kind of psycho thing you just did...

Did you just call me psycho?

- No! No. No. No.

- Did you just call me psycho?

It was a little psycho.

This is me having a moment

with some helpless newlyweds.

We just wanted to

say congratulations!

And savor this moment in your life!

So when I started to speak,

I thought it would help.

But then the words just started

coming out of me like lava.

Because you're gonna blink,

seriously, like, blink

and it's all gonna be over

and replaced with

just volume, like...

Mom!

Amazing, amazing

beautiful volume...

Look at that. Look at

that look on her face.

That's the look of a girl

whose fairytale just ended.

I murdered it.

I am a fairytale murderer.

You can only take so much

before you crack!

- Don't.

- No.

I'm like the Bruce Banner

of stay-at-home moms.

He doesn't want to turn into

the Hulk. It just happens.

Which is exactly how I feel.

I love my kids.

I love my husband. My minivan,

my minivan is awesome.

I have this incredible life.

So, why do I feel this way?

Mom!

Mom!

Mommy!

Oh.

Oh.

Surprise! We made you eggs!

With sugar!

Mother's happy day!

I should be happy that

they're making me breakfast.

Instead, all I see is salmonella.

Salmonella everywhere.

On the floor, on the

counter, on my children.

I'm a salmonella-phobe.

Last week this happened to

a doll and I burned it!

Okay, so I didn't realize that

that was Bailey's favorite doll,

and I do feel bad about that.

We're gonna play a little

game! Everybody freeze!

Beck, no. Do not put that...

Oh, no. No, no, he's gonna eat it.

He'll put that in

his mouth and become

one of the estimated

400 people that die

from acute salmonella poisoning,

which I read about on a blog

somewhere. Yeah, okay. I gotta go.

Do not put that finger in your...

Hello, may Field's

residence, please?

Well, how about you try,

"This is the Fields' residence.

How may I help you?"

Daddy!

Hey, is Mommy there?

Mom! Phone!

Wow.

Bailey, I'm up here!

Beck? Beck?

Here's Daddy.

Hello? Hey, hon.

Sean, please tell me you're

on a flight right now.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Moms' Night Out" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 16 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/moms%27_night_out_13946>.

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