McHale's Navy Page #4

Not this! This!

Oh. Oh! [ Chuckles ]

Well, this is

a frosty concoction...

home brewed by one of our

colorful yet loveable locals.

[ Chuckles ]

This is a military

installation, not a brewery.

I've heard about this place. It's

a lot less of a naval base...

and a lot more of sand baggers trying to get

free food and lodging out of Uncle Sam!

Now, that is not

entirely true, sir.

[ Men Shouting ]

Fall in.

Whoa! Check it out.

Hey.

[ Whispering ]

[ Snickers ]

Excuse me, sir.

Oh, look out.

Okay, let's hear it.

Come on.

I have heard them all.

Well, what is it?

I'd like to polish her turrets?

I'd like her to inate my raft?

I'd like to swab her deck?

[ Snickers ]

Well?

Um--

Uh, the swabbin' the deck one.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I am a superior officer,

and one more joke like that,

and I am recommending that

you are all transferred...

to our base deep in

Alaska's Aleutian Islands.

This place is so isolated...

you will spend your days

spit-shining urinals...

and drunkenly trawling for

innocent civilians to beat up.

[ Clears Throat ] Uh, ma'am?

Would this be a

permanent-duty assignment?

Ow! Sorry.

Sorry, sir. Ma'am.

Good work, Lieutenant.

Thank you, sir.

Atten-hut!

Hey, Happy, ain't that the

guy who sunk the Love Boat?

Oh, yeah.

- Did we wake you up?

- No, sir.

We've been up since

the crack of noon, sir.

Well, that's going to change.

Inspection in five minutes.

Fall out!

[ All Talking ]

What's the hurry, boys?

The new C.O.'s coming. We gotta

get all this stuff cleaned up!

Want some ice cream? Oh!

Would you guys relax? You know

how these new C.O.s are.

They're tough for two weeks.

Before you know it, they're trading shore

passes for toilet paper with aloe.

Not this guy, McHale.

He's D for difficult.

The type of difficult

that makes a-- Shut up.

You're making good time, and

you've still got 16 seconds.

So keep it up. I'll talk to you later.

Make your bed! Make your bed!

Up here!

[ Men Clamoring ]

Attention on deck!

Suck it in, mister!

I'm totally sucked, sir.

How about a shave, sailor?

Been thinkin' about it, sir.

Working without tools, eh?

What happened to your sleeves?

Uh, lost 'em

in a poker game, sir.

Angry loser.

[ Groans ]

Where is your bunk, son?

It's outside, sir.

Outside? Yeah.

It's, uh, out there

on up in a tree, sir.

You have a gravity

problem, son?

Uh, no, sir.

You just enjoy sleeping

up in the trees?

Oh, I sure do, sir.

Carpenter, take a note.

From now on, anything found...

sleeping up in a tree

after lights out...

will be shot, understood?

Noted, sir.

What are you trying to

hide from me, Ensign?

[ Whispers ] Why, nothing, sir.

Why, nothing, sir.

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