Maggie's Plan Page #5

- Oh, well, I'll make it for you.

- Okay. Great.

Thanks.

You're clearly a reader.

Actually, most of these books are his.

- Hot whiskey.

- Oh, thank you.

Oh, it's so good.

So tell me.

You know, I'm curious about you.

What about me? What aspect of me?

Every aspect of you.

I don't know where to start.

Um, how about the beginning?

- I'm hot.

- Oh, I know.

I'm gonna take...

Well, I had a kind of unusual start.

Yes?

Um, so my parents

were married fairly young

and they never had kids.

They were academics

at the University of Wisconsin.

But then eventually, they got divorced

and my dad moved away.

But then later, years later,

they ran into each other at a party.

And they...

They got together that night.

And that's how I was conceived.

On the bed with all the coats.

My mom always says that

it's because I needed to be born.

I love that idea.

That our unborn children are the real gods

dictating the fates of us

poor clueless mortals.

And did they...

They got together after that?

No. Uh, my mom raised me alone in Madison.

Uh...

She was a professor of

19th century British poetry.

She wasn't very practical.

So I ended up doing all

the day-to-day stuff.

I was organizing all of her bills

by the time I was 12.

She came from a Quaker family,

so she used to take me

to Quaker meetings with her.

Uh, and I still go, sometimes.

A Quaker, huh?

Yeah, we had a nice life. Mmm.

And then when I was 16,

she died.

So, um,

I went to go live with my dad in Philly.

How was that?

It was cordial.

And quiet.

- Lonely?

- Yes.

I grew up in a house where nobody

ever stopped yelling at each other.

Heaven.

No, my dad is a kind man.

And he made the best of the situation.

We both did.

So what about you? Tell me about you.

Background-wise.

Background.

Um, my father was a black jack dealer

in Atlantic City.

But it's a really long story. And I really...

I have to get back to my dysfunction.

- I believe it.

- What?

That you had to be born.

Martin Neem

dreamed the same thing every night.

But he could never remember what it was.

His wife, Talia, slept like a stone.

Talia was a small woman.

A small, beautiful woman

with hair like a river of snakes,

and the temper of an angry mink.

- Hi!

- Hey.

- Did you get to the static thing yet?

- Oh, yes.

- Did that make you laugh?

- I have no friction at all.

- Yeah, but it made you laugh, right?

- It did make me laugh.

He can't stop eating.

He's like this really gross eater.

You know what I mean?

And he's saying these brilliant things

about how he's got stuff in his beard.

Right. Beard.

- So that when they kiss, you know...

- Oh, gross! Oh, no.

Right, I know! That's what you'd think.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes