Maggie's Plan Page #4

I don't get why

you have to say the same thing

in the concluding paragraph

as you do in the introduction paragraph.

You're explaining your thesis,

but in a more developed form.

Okay. And what's the point of that?

By the time you get to your conclusion,

you've proven your thesis.

So it's basically just gloating.

Yeah, it is basically just gloating.

They have fleas in Paul's class again.

They don't have fleas, okay? They have lice.

Let me check your head.

Okay, lice.

You don't have lice. Okay, go.

No texting at table.

- I wonder where she gets that from.

- I use my phone for work.

Sometimes, I want to smash it

with a hammer.

Hmm.

Way to go, Mom.

Salad?

What is it?

They've asked me to chair

the department at Columbia!

Congratulations. That's great.

- It'll be a huge time commitment.

- Still, it's a high-class problem.

When will I ever get my writing done?

I've promised to deliver that book

by December.

Come on. You'll get a big bump in salary.

- All right. What are you...

- I'm already breaking out in a rash!

I've got an idea. Why don't you call

Caleb back and discuss it?

- I have to.

- I know. Fine.

Justine, you want to text your friend.

Paul, you want to play Ninja Revinja

on your iPad? Go.

I myself even have a minor text

I would like to respond to.

We can stop the pretense

of having a close-knit family dinner.

And we can return to the bullshit later.

What? What is it?

The tone, it's so unusual.

- It kind of screwball-surreal. Is that right?

- Yeah, that sounds right.

Screwball-surreal. That's it exactly!

And the characters. Oh!

Like Martin Neems, the colorless

postal worker in 1950s Connecticut

and he's married

to this insane Brazilian woman,

who keeps breaking out in rashes.

It's hilarious.

It is, right? Really, really?

Oh, and the, uh, description

of the musical collection!

- Oh, yeah, with his records, you mean?

- Yes. Oh, it's so great.

- That's funny, right?

- Oh, it's great.

I am so sorry. I am very, very cold.

- I feel like I'm welded to the bench.

- I know.

Is it okay if we go get some coffee?

Actually, my apartment is

like three blocks from here.

- Whatever. Yeah, yeah. Come on.

- I just need to get another sweater.

I'm just... I'm deathly cold.

I cannot tell you

how much I appreciate you doing this.

Oh, really, it was so much fun to read.

- Really?

- Yes.

Did you think the boil was weird gross

or weird funny?

I sublet from a poet.

Do you want some hot tea?

Or, I guess that's his wine, or...

But I have whiskey.

It's a little early, but...

We could make a hot whiskey.

Do you have some honey and lemon?

Uh, yes. I have... Let's see.

I have a half a lemon and honey.

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