Madea's Big Happy Family Page #4

Ain't nobody say nothing about no lunch.

I don't want no lunch. I want breakfast.

- Breakfast ended at 10:30...

- Oh, hell no.

Everybody's all screaming around me

or whatever.

- I don't know what you talkin' about.

- Little girl.

What?

I'm about to get carbon peroxide poisoning

in this damn car,

waiting on you to get me my damn food.

This Cadillac is old as hell.

Where's my food at, honey?

We're out of egg, we're out of ham,

and we're out of cheese and biscuit.

So can you get out of line, please?

Where's your manager, honey?

Look, I am the manager.

Now move!

Move!

You hear these people, it's crazy! For real!

She got crazy.

What the...

Hell, you ain't got no damn sense.

I told you I want my damn food.

Oh, my God!

I'm taking everything you got.

You act like you ain't got no sense...

Lady, what is wrong with you?

- Oh, my God!

- What the hell's wrong with you?

You're gonna videotape me?

You're gonna videotape me?

I'm taking it out.

I'm trying to be patient, I don't

know what the hell's wrong with y'all.

Old people, y'all act like

y'all ain't got no sense...

- I'm takin' some food...

- Where you at?

...and I'm feeding my fat-ass daughter and

everybody else and see how you like that.

You ain't seen nothing.

I can't wait for you. If you lookin' for me,

my name is Cora Simmons.

...one, two.

I called everybody.

- Good!

- Yep.

You scared, Shirley?

Ain't no room for fear

when you're this tired.

Bam,

I don't want nobody screaming

at my funeral.

- Shirley. I don't wanna talk about...

- Come on now.

Listen to me. I can't

tell this to my children.

I want Reverend Jackson

to give an uplifting sermon.

And I don't want you to let my children

fight about anything.

And I want Sister Laura

to sing that song I like,

"Heaven's Waiting for Me."

Will you do that for me?

Yes, I will, baby,

but Shirley,

you're probably gonna outlive us all.

Only God knows.

Well, just in case you do,

...when I die, I don't want no flowers.

- No?

No, I don't want no flowers.

I want y'all to plant marijuana stalks

all around my grave.

- I knew I'd make you smile.

- Go!

Instead of pouring some for the homies,

like the young folks there,

I want y'all to have a

puff, puff, pass, repass.

Just pass them all out. Just pass them.

I wanna say, "Puff, puff, pass, repass."

Put that down!

- I love to hear you laugh.

- God gonna get you.

- No. I...

- Puff, puff, pass...

- I want you to start it off. - All that

noise goin' on in here. Hey, Mama.

- Hey. Hi, honey.

- Hi.

Give me little Byron.

Come here, little Byron.

- Go to Aunt Bam.

- Byron.

Take little Byron. Take that baby.

Smell like a grown man

Rate this script:3.2 / 14 votes