Let's Kill Ward's Wife Page #5

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I should go pro.

Do you hear that?

Do you hear it?

Now that you woke our baby up,

you're gonna get me

a foot-long sub.

Double meat, double cheese.

Or are you gonna keep doing

nothing for your family

because it's father's day?

Jesus! Are you sick?

Good times today, boys. It was.

Definitely. Lovely.

I miss our black friend.

We could kill her, you know?

Sure, buddy.

You know what?

That sounds like a plan.

Now that you've been killed off

your last three TV shows

and your wife moved out, you got all

the time in the world to plan it out.

All right. A...

that's just a trial separation.

We're just trying to work things out.

Okay. Sure, sure.

What's B?

Nobody loves you.

Hey, there he is.

Hi, Bruce. How are ya?

Good. How are you?

Good. How was golf?

Oh, I didn't make it today.

It's father's day, so I'm gonna

spend it with my family.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My kids called me earlier.

They're in Arizona, right?

Very good. Scottsdale.

With their mother.

Hey, I was thinking, next time

you guys go hit the links,

maybe I could dust off my clubs

and, uh, play a round with you?

I'll let you know. All righty.

You know, I got a badge.

I flash that thing,

we're gonna get

a hell of a discount.

Okay. All right.

I will see you later.

Good times, man. I know.

It's okay to have

a life, you know.

I mean, have something

outside of your family.

That balance is important.

I know. I just wish...

I wish Stacy had

something else to focus on

other than just Ramone.

Like a hobby or a friend.

Just something.

Please. She's a dick.

Yes, I know. I know she is.

I'll need backup.

Okay. Great idea.

Hey!

Oh, my god. You look great.

Who picked this place?

The parking sucks!

Really? I found

a spot right away.

Huh? It doesn't seem that full.

Yeah, well, it was full for me,

and he hates elevators,

and the stairs

smell like piss, and...

Where's Larry?

Your kid.

Charlie.

I-I thought you said you didn't

want us to bring the kids.

Yeah, like a girls' lunch.

Should we go home now? No.

- No!

- Yes.

And just know, it does

get better every day.

I know everybody says that,

but it's true.

And when they start to talk,

it's so cute.

Yeah, but when they start to

talk, they don't shut up, right?

I... I know for me,

once Charlie started

sleeping in his own room,

things got a little better.

Oh, Ramone doesn't sleep

in his own room.

No, the only place he can

fall asleep is here, on me.

Yeah, but then you put him in his

bed after he's asleep, right?

Yeah, so he can wake up

and cry? No.

You're not afraid you're gonna roll

over on him in his sleep or something?

Some days I wish I would.

I'm kidding.

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