Let's Kill Ward's Wife Page #3

---

or are they workout gear?

So pants? That's what they are.

Hey, honey? Honey?

What?

So the guys are going golfing

for father's day,

and I was wondering

if I could go with them?

If you don't wanna spend father's day

with your son, that's up to you.

No, I always wanna

spend time with him.

Obviously you don't, ward.

You just told me

you wanna spend it

with the guys playing golf.

I'm stuck here every day, but...

I'm sure tom wants to spend it

with his wife and child.

No, babe. Tom's going.

Yeah, it was his idea.

He's playing golf.

Don't pass the blame.

You're responsible for your own actions.

All right?

Not tom or Ronnie or any of

your other idiot friends.

How's he doing?

Yeah. He's such a good boy.

Uh-huh.

Man, if I'm exhausted,

you've just gotta be beat, huh?

He's a full-time job.

I'm okay.

I'm almost back

to my pre-baby weight.

I know, and you look great.

You want a piece of this?

Yeah. Yeah, you know I do.

I'm just so tired, babe.

Oh... Come on. I'm so tired.

Okay? Yeah.

Night. Night.

Uh, you don't have

a cappuccino machine, do you?

Big D! What'd you get?

Wow. You look like a fool.

Hey, can I get a, uh,

breakfast sandy, no mayo?

Reminds me of cum.

You know, uh, make that

two, and a froot loops.

Lily!

Brought your kid? Yeah.

Amanda needed, uh...

I don't know. Something.

Whatever. You know, I'm

not pulling my punches.

She's heard it all before.

Oh, I've got some new sh*t.

I doubt that.

Yeah. Where you at?

Hey, man, how's it going?

You here?

No.

Look, I'm not gonna

make it today.

What are you talking about?

It's f***ing father's day.

That's the thing.

What a p*ssy. Aagh!

Sorry. Christ. Hit another.

She says her relationship

with her father is strained.

You're hitting three. Shut up.

Dad.

Sorry, honey.

F***!

Dad!

Sorry. You know what?

I'm just gonna go ahead

and talk in your back swing from now

on if it doesn't make any difference.

I mean, do they even talk?

What's that mean, "strained"?

I don't know. It means

he's a f***ing p*ssy.

Tour quality.

She says that father's day

reminds her of how bad

her relationship is with her

father, and that she needs him.

Needs him? Yep.

She hates him.

She spends her whole day

terrorizing and berating

that p*ssy.

I mean, not that he doesn't

deserve some of it, but f***.

Not bad. You'll be okay. Yeah.

At least he's laying one.

Shh!

Did you tell her she sucked

in prairie girl?

Yeah, Ronnie, I did. I told robin

peters that she sucked in prairie girl.

You know what?

She's top three for me.

You just put me in a room with her,

I would close that deal so fast.

I met her a couple times. We

used to have the same publicist.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes