Jeff Ross Roasts the Border: Live from Brownsville, Texas

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1

Ross:
Look at this

beautiful crowd.

Come up here, dude.

Come up here.

Look at this guy.

What's your name? What's that?

Herman. And...

What?

Just call you "eggnog?"

What do you do?

I landscape. Landscape.

I could've guessed

that in one guess.

You're a legal citizen?

I'm an alien. You're an alien?

I got a Social Security though.

You can check.

I'm not going to check.

It's okay.

You're in a safe

space right now.

Are your parents

in this country?

Yeah. One.

One is, and the other one?

They threw one back.

They threw one back.

That would be such a tricky

way to grow up, right,

where you're legal

but your parents

are undocumented?

That's a lot of leverage

to have on your parents.

"Hey, clean up your room."

"Really, Mom?"

"Let me call ICE,

see if they want

to clean up your room."

"What time is my curfew, Dad?"

"Well, you might not be

coming home tonight, so."

Hola. Me llamoJeff Ross.

And like most Americans, I'm

a descendant of immigrants.

My grandparents' grandparents

escaped from Eastern Europe

in search of a better

life and perfect posture.

Their daughter,

my great-grandma Rosie,

went on to embrace

the American dream.

After playing four seasons

with the New York Giants,

she built herself a successful

catering business

in Newark, New Jersey.

From there, our family

grew into a motley

melting pot of religions

and nationalities

that now includes a crazy

Israeli and two Chinese cousins

that are smarter than me

and can kick my ass.

And it's not just my family.

Since this country got rolling,

people from all over the world

have fled their homelands

to come to the greatest

country on Earth.

I mean, can you see

how happy they are?

USA! USA!

Ever since I was a kid,

leaders on all sides

have stood up for immigrants.

Rather than talking

about putting up a fence,

why don't we make it

possible for them

to come here legally

with a work permit,

and then while they're

working and earning here,

they pay taxes here?

And when they want to go

back, they can go back,

and they can cross, and open

the border both ways.

These are good people,

strong people.

Part of my family is Mexican.

Ross:
Things are different now.

Suddenly, America

is like a snobby club

with a douchey doorman.

But for me, this issue

isn't about politics.

It's about people, lots

and lots of people.

No ban, no walls!

No ban, no walls!

Here I am in Texas, rally

in the state capital.

One of many happening

all over the country right now.

No ban, no wall.

For many, the stakes

couldn't be higher.

My fiance is from Mexico,

and he's actually undocumented,

and with all this ICE

raids and everything,

he's afraid to go out because...

Must be scary. Very scary.

I'm the son of Mexican

and Columbian immigrants,

and I'm proud.

I feel you, bro.

"Palestinian, Mexican,

Muslim and a woman."

Man.

You can probably get

deported and locked up

for three different

reasons right now.

What do you each for lunch,

like quesadillas with hummus?

Not only was this nation built

by immigrants, it still is.

Are you a real

construction worker?

Real construction.

All the building, and last

year, we do all the window.

Wow. Right here at the capital?

Yes, sir.

Well, it's a beautiful building

with beautiful windows.

Thank you. Yeah.

And thank you, all United States

for bringing little jobs for us.

Yeah. Of course, man.

I'm very appreciative.

Immigrants make America great.

I agree, man.

Yeah. Yeah.

A couple of Mexican

guys like you and me

are making this country great.

All right. Gracias.

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