
Jeff Ross Roasts the Border: Live from Brownsville, Texas
- Year:
- 2017
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1
Ross:
Look at thisbeautiful crowd.
Come up here, dude.
Come up here.
Look at this guy.
What's your name? What's that?
Herman. And...
What?
Just call you "eggnog?"
What do you do?
I landscape. Landscape.
I could've guessed
that in one guess.
You're a legal citizen?
I'm an alien. You're an alien?
I got a Social Security though.
You can check.
I'm not going to check.
It's okay.
You're in a safe
space right now.
Are your parents
in this country?
Yeah. One.
One is, and the other one?
They threw one back.
They threw one back.
That would be such a tricky
way to grow up, right,
where you're legal
but your parents
are undocumented?
That's a lot of leverage
to have on your parents.
"Hey, clean up your room."
"Really, Mom?"
"Let me call ICE,
see if they want
to clean up your room."
"What time is my curfew, Dad?"
"Well, you might not be
coming home tonight, so."
Hola. Me llamoJeff Ross.
And like most Americans, I'm
a descendant of immigrants.
My grandparents' grandparents
escaped from Eastern Europe
in search of a better
life and perfect posture.
Their daughter,
my great-grandma Rosie,
went on to embrace
the American dream.
After playing four seasons
with the New York Giants,
she built herself a successful
catering business
in Newark, New Jersey.
From there, our family
grew into a motley
melting pot of religions
and nationalities
that now includes a crazy
Israeli and two Chinese cousins
that are smarter than me
and can kick my ass.
And it's not just my family.
Since this country got rolling,
people from all over the world
have fled their homelands
to come to the greatest
country on Earth.
I mean, can you see
how happy they are?
USA! USA!
Ever since I was a kid,
leaders on all sides
have stood up for immigrants.
Rather than talking
about putting up a fence,
why don't we make it
possible for them
to come here legally
with a work permit,
and then while they're
working and earning here,
they pay taxes here?
And when they want to go
back, they can go back,
and they can cross, and open
the border both ways.
These are good people,
strong people.
Part of my family is Mexican.
Ross:
Things are different now.Suddenly, America
is like a snobby club
with a douchey doorman.
But for me, this issue
isn't about politics.
It's about people, lots
and lots of people.
No ban, no walls!
No ban, no walls!
Here I am in Texas, rally
in the state capital.
One of many happening
all over the country right now.
No ban, no wall.
For many, the stakes
couldn't be higher.
My fiance is from Mexico,
and he's actually undocumented,
and with all this ICE
raids and everything,
he's afraid to go out because...
Must be scary. Very scary.
I'm the son of Mexican
and Columbian immigrants,
and I'm proud.
I feel you, bro.
"Palestinian, Mexican,
Muslim and a woman."
Man.
You can probably get
deported and locked up
for three different
reasons right now.
What do you each for lunch,
like quesadillas with hummus?
Not only was this nation built
by immigrants, it still is.
Are you a real
construction worker?
Real construction.
All the building, and last
year, we do all the window.
Wow. Right here at the capital?
Yes, sir.
Well, it's a beautiful building
with beautiful windows.
Thank you. Yeah.
And thank you, all United States
for bringing little jobs for us.
Yeah. Of course, man.
I'm very appreciative.
Immigrants make America great.
I agree, man.
Yeah. Yeah.
A couple of Mexican
guys like you and me
are making this country great.
All right. Gracias.
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"Jeff Ross Roasts the Border: Live from Brownsville, Texas" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 12 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jeff_ross_roasts_the_border%3A_live_from_brownsville%2C_texas_11222>.