Jane Austen's Mafia! Page #3

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U-Uh, that's my bad ear.

[Whispering, Indistinct]

I was wrong.

This must be the bad ear.

Don Cortino,

I want justice for my Angelina.

All right, Bonifacio.

All right.

I will do this thing for you.

[Gasps]

Thank you, Godfather.

[Whistling]

Thank you.

[Anthony Narrating]

Diane was my first love.

We were made for each other.

About the only disagreement we ever had

was when I went to war.

While I was off fighting, she was

working for the world peace movement.

But despite all that, when I got home,

she was there to greet me.

I guess she was a sucker

for a guy in uniform.

Oh, Anthony, I'm so nervous

about meeting your family.

If they don't like me,

I'll just die.

[Man]

Hey, Tony!

[Laughing]

Big war hero!

- I got you a souvenir.

- Aw.

Oh, wow! A North Korean.

Tony, I mean, l...

I don't know what to say.

I want you

to meet Diane.

Diane, this is Dominick Clamato,

my father's most trusted friend.

- Hi.

- Bella.

Lugosi.

Marron. Hey, you guys!

Look what Tony brung me.

- [Delighted Gasps]

- I bet you never seen

one of these before.

[Diane]

Anthony, isn't that Cesar Marzoni?

The man's a criminal.

What's he doing here?

[Tony]

Maybe he does business with my father.

[Diane]

What are you saying?

Look, I'm not my father,

Diane, just as you're not your father.

If we were our fathers, what we did last

night would only be legal in Arkansas.

[Tony Narrating]

It was like I never left.

- These were the faces I grew up with.

- Good to see you, Anthony.

It wasn't just me and Joey and Pop,

it was Frankie Totino,

Look who's here.

Hey, Anthony. Welcome back.

- "Fatso" Paulie Orsatti,

- Try the veal piccata.

Who was Benny "Big Features"' brother...

he controlled the unions.

- Then you had Nick Molinaro,

who ran the North Side,

- 'Ey! How you doin'?

Jumbo "The King

Of Big Screen TV" DeNuzio.

Yo, Tony. I'll knock 20% off

that Trinitron for you.

- There was Al "The Mailbox" Spaducci,

- Miller Lite.

- Johnny Love,

- Who's the pretty girl?

And Charlie "Big Red-Ass Baboon

On His Head" Petrella.

- Catch ya later.

- [Baboon Chattering]

[Man]

The Don will see you now, Mr. Gorgoni.

Pop, this is Sal Gorgoni.

Don Cortino, it is an honor to be

in the presence of such a great man.

Your flattery brings

a redness to my hair.

Cigar?

- [Meowing]

- Very fresh.

- [Angry Meowing]

- Uh, thank you. No.

Please. Sit down.

Now, what is so urgent that

you come to see Don Corduroy...

on the third anniversary

of my stepson's liposuction?

It is a known fact that you

have the judges in your pocket.

- The politicians, they dance like...

- Mm.

- Like puppets for you.

- Mm. Mm!

You control the courts.

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