Jackass: The Lost Tapes

Synopsis: This documentary is basically deleted scenes and additional stunts and sketches from the Jackass TV show.
Genre: Reality-TV
 
IMDB:
6.9
Year:
2009
104 min
31 Views

Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

Welcome to Jackass.

MAN:
Three, two, one, fire!

(LAUGHlNG)

Come wash my back.

Well, I'm Johnny Knoxville,

United States of America,

and I'll be doing a little article

on self-defence equipment.

I'm going to start off by spraying myself

with red pepper spray.

It's the highest concentration

you can get,

followed by a 120,000-volt stun gun,

and then I'll be getting shot

with a Taser gun, 50,000 volts,

for roughly around 30 seconds.

This right here

is where the hooks come out, I guess.

Hit me!

(COUGHS)

(GROANlNG)

-Oh, my God.

-Give me the fucking towel.

Fucking hell.

I feel like my eyes have gonorrhoea.

(GRUNTlNG)

I won't put anything in my eyes, man.

MAN:
I don't think we should let him

put anything in his face.

-JASON:
Knox, do you want the water?

-No.

MAN:
Some gasoline.

JASON:
Spray you down?

JASON:
Dive in the pool.

(SPlTS)

JASON:
Would that stop an assailant?

JOHNNY:
That would stop

a fucking freight train.

(BUZZlNG)

Charge!

(BUZZlNG)

(SCREAMS)

F*ck!

(SHUTTER CLlCKlNG)

(MOANS)

There's really no marks left.

That's where you got me.

JASON:
Do you want

to do that one again?

JOHNNY:
No.

Weren't you on 90210 not too long ago?

(SCREAMlNG)

Fucking hell!

No, quit. F*ck. No, Jas.

Jason, put it down.

I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.

-JASON:
Here, do it to yourself.

-No... F*ck!

-Put it on top of your heart.

-That would hurt.

That one's been...

That was worse than the stun gun.

MAN:
lt'll get infected.

JASON:
Damn, I can't handle that.

MAN:
Yeah, that's pretty nasty.

(JOHNNY GROANS)

-JASON:
So what was more effective?

-The pepper spray is the worst by far.

Like, the stun gun, you get up again

-in a few seconds.

-JASON:
But it knocks you down.

And the Taser gun, yeah, that sucked.

MAN:
You guys want to go

watch it on the TV?

Ryan Dunn

is getting tar and feathered right now.

-BAM:
Hey, Ry.

-Yeah?

MAN:
Dunn got feathered.

WOMAN:
He got tarred and feathered.

(ALL LAUGHlNG)

MAN:
Ryan, look at me. Ryan.

I got tarred and feathered. I thought this

only went on in Bugs Bunny cartoons.

(LAUGHlNG)

MAN:
Let's go, dude.

STEVE-O:
Okay, dude.

I'm gonna grab me some food

for the team.

WOMAN:
That's two medium Cokes,

small fries and cheeseburger.

MAN 1:
Yes.

MAN 2:
Go, go, go.

MAN 1:
Is there ketchup in there?

(WHlSTLE BLOWS)

Hi, I'm Preston. This is the human raft.

Could you guys roll me over?

(CHEERlNG)

(ALL LAUGHlNG)

CAMERAMAN:
Mount him.

You got to get on yourself.

MAN:
(SlNGlNG) Row, row, row your raft

Gently down the stream

My man.

(LAUGHlNG)

Oh, Man.

Come on.

This is your mother advising you

to get on him.

-Yeah, Mom is...

-My mom's telling me to get on a guy.

Yeah.

It's not too bad

being a human raft, huh, there, buddy?

There's always the fringe benefits.

-lt has its moments.

-Yeah.

Hi, I'm Chef Dave, and I'm gonna make

an omelette for you today.

There'll be no need for any knives.

I'm going to process all the food myself.

The ingredients are very important.

A variety of peppers.

Mushrooms are always good

for an omelette.

I'm so hungry.

You cannot forget the eggs

when you're making an omelette.

Today we're gonna make

a three-egg omelette.

Got a little bit of shell in there.

Don't want that. That'll cut you right up.

Always add a little bit of milk

for fluffiness.

And cheese. I'd suggest

medium cheddar cheese. It's good.

(BELCHES)

(MAN LAUGHlNG)

The final ingredient is the eggs.

(SNlCKERlNG)

(RETCHES)

(VOMlTlNG)

(COUGHS)

In this case,

I've only seemed

to bring back up the eggs.

Don't fret. All you do is just try again.

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