It's Not My Fault and I Don't Care Anyway Page #4

I ain't f***in

talking about that.

You aren't going to

put that on me, are you?

Death and decay, mudder f***er.

Ohhh, Ohh.

Come on.

Ouuu, sh*t.

Let's go.

Seriously?

I don't want to be a demon.

It was gross.

And as a homeless person,

I have a high tolerance

for bodily functions.

Morning mudder fucka.

Wake up and smell your demon!

And that's my cue.

He slapped him and

I'm supposed to roar.

But I got the Darth Vader

thing on my throat so

I accidentally, I say,

"Luke! I am your father!"

Which I

figure was a dead give away,

but I guess Wing wasn't

a big Star Wars fan.

Yeah, Yeah,

I'm a voodoo, mutherfucka

and I brought a

demon to your dreams!

I am Johnny of the Tree Fingas

and you will respect me!

- And I opened my mouth to roar

and I can taste how I smell.

Stand in my way and

I'll eat your soul.

That was the bombingest

grenade you ever exploded,

that throwing up like that,

that was some real demon sh*t

like from The Exorcist!

What was that stuff that Moose

was spraying on him in there?

Concentrated LSD.

You did good my giant friend.

You and me we work together now.

Permanent-like.

- I should have

been scared, but ah,

but all I could see

was that big bag of Heroin.

You my demon, mofo!

You my demon, forever.

- That was like a lot of Heroin.

A month's supply.

And maybe I could ahead

on my bottle collecting.

Then I'd be a month

ahead, possibly forever.

To an addict like

me that's a dream.

It seemed harmless at first.

The beef between Johnny and

Wing, it wasn't my fault.

And in a few minutes,

I'd be so high...

I wouldn'a cared anyway.

So, like I say, my

sex life was getting dicey.

I was getting into some stuff

with some questionable dudes.

I'm sorry.

This is confidential, right?

Cause like, I signed exclusivity

on life rights for a book

and a movie and also

I'm getting a reality show.

But that's also a secret.

This is all confidential

and anonymous.

And I mean, who even

are you anyway, right?

- Yeah.

- Big fan.

Okay, so...

Here's what happened.

After that I was Johnny's boy.

Johnny would let me park

my car at his warehouse.

And he let me use the shower.

He took me to the big and

large and got me this suit.

He said I was bad ass.

- You bad ass.

I thought so too.

I also got these

fight'n lessons.

Alright, alright.

The ting about ya giant man

fry pan hands is that you

gotta lay em on em, you know?

Charles. Git here.

Me?

Who the f*** else is Charles.

You, stand here.

Alright, now pretend he's a

resistant-ass shop keeper and

we gotta take him to school.

Okay.

Alright, now you say

something resistant.

I ain't paying you sh*t. Get the

f*** up outta my shop, nigga!

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