It's Kind of a Funny Story
CRAIG GILNER (16, handsome, but awkward) glides on his biketoward the Brooklyn Bridge. He is the only one on thestreets. A rhythmic beating heart is the only sound we hear.
BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM
The heartbeat increases in pace as Craig nears the bridge.
EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE PEDESTRIAN PATH
We float behind Craig as he approaches the bridge’s firsttower. Craig is still the only person there.
BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM
He arrives at the tower, steps off his bike, and looks outover the East River.
BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM
He climbs up onto a steel girder. Walks to the edge, overthe speeding traffic below, then out over the water.
BADOOMBADOOMBADOOMBADOOM
SILENCE...
LYNN (O.S.)
Craig!?
Craig looks behind him to find his mother (LYNN, early 40s),
father (GEORGE, mid 40s), and little sister (ALYSSA, 8) allstanding by his bike.
LYNN:
What were you planning to do with yourbike, honey?!
CRAIG:
I don’t care about my bike! I’m
killing myself!
GEORGE:
But we spent a lot of money on thatbike, Sport! We only ask that you takecare of it!
ALYSSA:
Think of me, Craig! I might want thatbike when I grow up!
CRAIG:
I’m sorry, I just didn’t think-
LYNN:
That’s right, honey, you weren’tthinking of us when you decided to dothis, were you?
GEORGE:
Pretty selfish, I’d say. Have youthought about how this might affectyour sister?
ALYSSA:
I’ll be traumatized for life.
Craig stares at his family for a beat.
CRAIG:
I’m sorry, I--
A CAR HORN BLARES and Craig flinches, blinded by the oncomingheadlights. He loses his footing on the thin metal plank.
He SLIPS AND FALLS as his family watches in horror.
CRAIG’S POV:
hurling down toward the water below. At themoment before impact, the frame FREEZES a few feet above thewater-
CRAIG (V.O.)
This is the moment where I usually wakeup in a sweaty panic.
ANGLE ON CRAIG’S anguished face frozen in time.
CRAIG (V.O.)
But for some reason... this time was
different-
The POV frame resumes action and Craig plunges into thewater.
TITLE:
“IT’S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY”Craig locks his bike to a rack in front of an illuminatedemergency room sign. He turns towards the hospital.
Overhead the sky is illuminated by a pre-dawn glow.
SUPER:
“SUNDAY: DAY 1”INT. EMERGENCY ROOM
Craig wanders into the bright, fluorescent-lit room,
approaches the NURSE at the registration desk.
CRAIG:
Hi... I want to kill myself.
Unphased, the nurse hands him a clipboard.
NURSE:
Fill this out, please.
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM WAITING AREA - NOT MUCH LATER
Craig waits near an ear-infected KID, when his attention
shifts to the sliding doors. A man, dressed in blue doctor’sscrubs, saunters in with a cup of coffee, takes a seat(unusually close) next to Craig. He is BOBBY (late 30s, semi-
balding).
Craig does his best to ignore him, until...
BOBBY:
Hey.
Craig turns to him. Upon closer inspection, he appears a bittoo disheveled to be a doctor or nurse. He looks at Craigwith an unhinged intensity.
BOBBY:
You gotta cigarette?
CRAIG:
Uh... no. Sorry.
BOBBY:
What’s wrong with you?
CRAIG:
I just don’t smoke.
BOBBY:
No, I mean why are you in the E.R. atfive o’clock on a Sunday morning?
CRAIG:
(hesitant)
Well, um, there’s been a lot going onin my head lately.
BOBBY:
Go on.
CRAIG:
Okay, well, um... I don’t really knowhow to describe it. Like there’s a
girl...
BOBBY:
Yes.
CRAIG:
And, you know, this summer schoolapplication I’ve been nervous about.
BOBBY:
Summer school.
CRAIG:
Yeah, it’s like this super prestigious-
BOBBY:
--Why would you want to spend yoursummer in school?
Craig stares at Bobby for a beat.
BOBBY:
You should be at Coney Island birddogging chicks on the beach.
CRAIG:
Are you a doctor?
BOBBY:
What do you think?
CRAIG:
You don’t really seem like a doctor.
BOBBY:
Craig stares at Bobby, trying to make sense of the question.
BOBBY:
(standing up)
I hope they fix whatever’s wrong with
you.
CRAIG:
Thanks.
Bobby stalks off, disappears around a corner.
INT. E.R. DOCTOR’S OFFICE - LATER
DR. ISAIAH MAHMOUD, an E.R. resident (Indian, early 30s)
takes Craig’s blood pressure.
DR. MAHMOUD
How long have you been feeling
suicidal?
CRAIG:
I don’t know... I’ve been depressedfor about a year now. Thought about ita few times, but never like this.
Never so... real.
DR. MAHMOUD
Did anything specific happen today thatmight have triggered these feelings?
CRAIG (V.O.)
Sometimes I wish I had an easy answerfor why I’m depressed. My father beat
me. Or I was sexually abused. But
none of that stuff has ever happened to
me... It was just a normal Saturday.
INT. AARON’S BEDROOM - EARLIER THAT DAY
Craig and his friends lounge around the room, listening toAaron’s record collection. There is: AARON (not particularlygood-looking, but supremely self-confident), his girlfriendNIA (an ultra-hip, tightly-clad cutie), RONNY (a 1990s hip-
hop throwback), and SCUGGS (jew-fro).
Ronny coughs, exhaling smoke, and passes a joint to Aaron,
who cuddles next to Nia on the bed. Everyone talksanimatedly, except for Craig, who stares at Nia, longingly.
RONNY:
He practically had to strip search meto find it. It's like, dude, you're asecurity guard at a rock concert. Whyare you taking your job so seriously?
NIA:
He probably just wanted some free weed.
AARON:
How much did they get?
RONNY:
An eighth. But it was worth it. APW
was the bomb.
AARON:
It was pretty jokes... But oh-eight wasoff the hook.
CRAIG:
I need to go.
AARON:
What-- you’re leaving? I didn’t even
play Saucerful of Secrets yet.
CRAIG:
Yeah, I just...
SCUGGS:
Don’t bug Craig. He’s in the Craig
zone.
RONNY:
Yeah, he’s Craig-ing out!
They all laugh. Craig forces a chuckle.
Craig rides his bike over the bridge, stops to answer hisphone.
CRAIG:
Hey...
INT. AARON’S BEDROOM - DAY
Nia playfully pushes Aaron off her.
NIA:
Hey Craig. I forgot to ask you tocover for me tonight, in case myparents call or whatever.
CRAIG:
Oh... You’re staying over Aaron’s?
NIA:
I told them there was some school sleep
over. They’re a little suspicious, sothey might call.
CRAIG:
No problem.
Craig hangs up, looks out over the East River.
INT. CRAIG’S DINING ROOM - NIGHT
Craig’s family sits around the table for dinner.
GEORGE:
Hey there, Craigers. How’s the
Franklin Gates application coming
along?
Craig stares at his dad for a beat, then VOMITS on the table.
ALYSSA:
Gross.
Craig’s parents look to him, concerned.
CRAIG:
(to Lynn)
I’m sorry.
LYNN:
(with Dr. Mahmoud’s voice)
Craig? Anything you can think of thatmay have set you off?
INT. ARGENON HOSPITAL - E.R. DOCTOR’S OFFICE - PRESENT
Dr. Mahmoud waits for an answer.
CRAIG:
Um... no. Nothing unusual.
DR. MAHMOUD
Are you taking any medication?
CRAIG:
Zoloft. But I stopped.
DR. MAHMOUD
Did your doctor take you off the
medication?
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"It's Kind of a Funny Story" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 15 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/it's_kind_of_a_funny_story_598>.
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