It's Complicated Page #3

Oh.

(PEDRO MIMICKING CAR ENGINE)

(PEDRO EXCLAIMING)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Yeah...

- Okay, buddy. Here we go.

PEDRO:
Jake.

Okay, Pedro, honey,

don't do that. Pedro.

- See you in the Big Apple.

- I'll see you there.

(PEDRO GRUNTING)

(WOMEN LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

That is beyond!

When the three of them

got in the elevator...

(EXCLAIMS) Between that

and the staples

and the headache

for six months...

That was the most

insane hour of my life.

(LAUGHS)

Jake has lost his mind.

Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, I know. He's a complete

prick for cheating on you.

I can't disagree

with you on that.

And then he marries her.

A known lunatic.

Well, she has a big job.

(SCOFFS)

Why do you always say that?

Because she does. She runs the

whole marketing department at KY

or whatever that

station's called.

She can't be that

big of a lunatic.

Janey, come on.

He cheats on you with her,

your 20 year marriage ends.

Then six months later,

she leaves Jake

and runs off with

some random guy,

has a baby, then leaves

that guy for Jake.

And she's not nuts?

Oh, Jo, you are so

lucky Jerry is dead.

(LAUGHS) Thank you.

No, I mean, you don't

have to bump into him.

- Well, that's true.

DIANE:
Yeah.

(TRISHA LAUGHS)

Oh, Janey,

do you wanna meet a guy

I met on Match. com

that I didn't like?

Oh, wow,

what a great offer.

No, thanks.

I don't think so.

Well, he wasn't that awful.

Sounding better

every minute.

You know, it's not healthy to not

have sex for however long it's been.

(EXHALES LOUDLY)

Trust me, I am not

not doing it on purpose.

Oh.

Okay, I don't know

if this is true...

TRISHA:
Mmm-hmm.

...but I read online

about a woman

that hadn't

done it in so long

that her vagina closed up.

(LAUGHS)

What?

Get out of here! Come on.

I swear to God,

it grew back together.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Wait, was it

ever one piece?

TRISHA:
What? Ooh, no.

No, she had to have

a vaginoplasty.

Ouch!

JANE:
Oh, God!

"Hello, Dr. Moss, I have a little

situation that needs fixing."

Bubbee. Bubbee, if you wanna

have your situation fixed,

you have to date someone.

Seriously.

(SIGHS)

Anyone.

Oh, there he is!

(GABBY EXCLAIMS)

JANE:
(GASPS) There he is!

Oh, hello.

- JANE:
Good to see you! We missed you.

- Hi!

- Who is this guy?

- Hey, hey. How are you?

Oh, I love it when we're

all in the same time zone!

So, what's up, Luke? Did you

decide to have that party?

Oh, yeah, big time.

What party?

Are you guys

going to sleep over?

Yeah, if you give us your

bed and change the sheets.

You're having

a party? When?

Hi. Adler, two rooms.

Hopefully next

to each other.

I have an Adler, J. in a

Superior Suite. Park Avenue view?

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