I'm Not Ashamed Page #2

Words are the window to the heart.

Yeah.

You're, like. deep.

Are you spiritual or something?

No.

Not... no, not really.

Really? 'Cause, you know...

I'm a spiritual guy myself.

You know, I like to take in the energy

around me for my art.

Yeah. Guess I'm like that, too.

Mm.

Hey, you guys are too dry! Come in!

No, we're good.

Come on! Come on!

Well... if that's what you want.

You know, I want what you want.

But just in case you wanted to know,

I want you to want

to come in the pool. Just...

wanted to get that out there.

# Here I am #

# Just waiting, and the world #

# Is passing by #

Girl, come here!

# All alone in my sanctuary #

- Oh!

- Careful.

# Coming back to life #

# I wait #

# In the aftermath #

# My music in my mind... #

Bye.

Rachel Joy.

I prayed over pillows tonight.

Where have you been?

Out with the girls.

Why is your hair all wet?

We went swimming.

What if something had happened?

I need to know where my children are.

Sorry, Mom.

You smell like smoke.

And... booze.

Are you buzzing?

Mom, nobody says that.

Oh. Okay, well, you're grounded

till you go to your Aunt Bea's.

What? Mom, that's, like, the whole summer!

Exactly. This kind of behavior

will not be tolerated

- under this roof.

- I told you.

Shut up, Dana.

Rachel, we're gonna have a long

chat about this in the morning.

You're better than this, Rachel Joy.

I can't even control them.

Larry went from no kids

to five kids overnight.

He's still getting used to everything.

I'm so scared that he's gonna regret it.

- Beth, don't say that.

- I think it'll be good

for Rachel to get away

from her friends for a bit.

I'll be. Sometimes I don't know

what I'm gonna do with that girl.

Being at the farm with her cousins

is gonna be good for her.

We have been looking all over for you.

Here I am.

Rach...

you're kind of different this summer.

I just wanted to be alone.

For four hours?

Rachel...

what's really going on?

I just want to help.

Well, you can't.

You would never understand.

Your family's perfect.

No, we're not.

I'm sorry.

It wasn't supposed to be like that.

Sometimes I don't know who I am.

It's not like I'm trying

to do the wrong thing.

I just can't help it.

I used to try so hard

to get it all together,

but... none of that worked.

I had to let God in.

I've done the whole church thing.

I know about Jesus.

I know it sounds crazy,

and it's really hard

to explain, but... it's about

truly living a life for Jesus.

And when you do that, you'll

have this sense of peace.

I don't know.

That's just what worked for me.

Rachel, life can be really hard,

but listen to me,

God does not waste anything,

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