I'll Be Home for Christmas Page #3
- PG
- Year:
- 1998
- 86 min
- 1,019 Views
1 Academy kids
are driving back east this winter
and I get a ride with you.
Just the two of us, riding
the crest of destiny's rainbow.
Sharing. Caring. A pair for the ages.
OK, hold on, first the ground rules.
lf you say to me things like that,
l'll have to slug you.
lf you say anything nasty about Jake,
l'll have to slug you.
lf you try to feel me up,
l'll have to slug you.
lf you make me listen to any sexist,
racist or homophobic jokes,
l'm gonna have to slug you.
And finally, I might have to slug you
from time to time
simply because I find the prospect
of this incredibly stressful.
All right, sounds like a party to me.
Jewel, Sarah, Fiona?
l'm in a sensitive mood, aren't you?
Cut the crap. l'm already in the car.
All right, let's burn this baby.
New York, yeah!
See you, lovebirds.
Hey, it's Allie. You got the machine.
Allie, it's me. Listen, I am so...
Desert, Santa, buzzard, tumbleweed.
This totally sucks.
You got a mean disposition
for a Santa.
l need to make another phone call.
Long distance?
What from here is not long distance?
lt's Jake.
-Where are you?
l'm in the middle of nowhere,
dressed like Santa,
being attacked by tumbleweed.
Cool.
-Get me Dad.
When did I become your slave?
-The day you were born.
Right.
lt's the prodigal son.
Hello, Father.
Jake, you sound funny.
Are you at the airport?
l've had some setbacks but if you
wire me money, l'll make it home.
Just what kind of a bind are you in?
He's in the middle of nowhere
dressed as Santa
being attacked by a bumblebee.
Tumbleweed!
Otherwise, like she said.
That is the worst alibi
in a long line of bad alibis.
But it's all true.
-That's what you always say.
l know, but I really need your help
to make it home on time.
Look, we had a deal.
lt is up to you to get home
on Christmas Eve
Excuse me.
l couldn't help overhearing.
You're trying to get home
for Christmas
and your father won't help you?
lt's not that, it's just...
He's so worried about the operation.
He's not thinking clearly.
-Operation?
Yeah.
The whole family chipped in and got
him a triple bypass for Christmas.
l sent home every last dollar l
earned as a shopping mall Santa.
The operation's on Christmas Eve.
Now I won't be home until after
the anaesthesia wears off.
Oh, dear.
You know, me and the girls are
driving to Vegas to see Tom Jones.
We're Tom Tom Girls.
You want to ride with us?
Do you have What's New, Pussycat?
Do we have
What's New, Pussycat?
What's New, Pussycat?
Can we crack open a window?
Do you think it's funny
how easily old people
can catch pneumonia?
Do you think that's a joke?
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"I'll Be Home for Christmas" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/i'll_be_home_for_christmas_10540>.
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