
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
Billy Boy!
Get your ass ready!
It's almost 5:
00, and this bad boyneeds to get his drink on.
- No, no, no. Give me that.
- Don't.
- I'm gonna burn it once and for all.
- Stop that.
Dude, it's been six months.
It's time to move on, okay?
Whatever. Even if
I wouldn't even know what to do.
I've been out of the game
for so long.
Dude, you come out with me tonight,
I promise you will get laid.
Yeah, it sounds very tempting,
but Berenson needs me to update
these financial models
for the meeting
with the foreign investors.
So what?
It's Friday night.
The Germans are taking
The meeting got changed
to tomorrow.
So? Why don't you
just get somebody else
to do your work for you?
Who?
Harold, I need you to update
those models for me.
- Billy, aren't you supposed to...
- I know. Something just came up.
I have this meeting
with these new clients tonight,
to get to those.
So that's your
responsibility now, big boy.
Make sure those are in
by 9:
00 sharp tomorrow.With all the downsizing
that's been going on around here,
we wouldn't want to have to tell Berenson
you've been slacking, now would we?
Yeah.
Okay, no problem.
Hey.
You have a great weekend,
okay, buddy?
I owe you one.
Just one.
Thank you.
Wow! That was amazing.
I cannot believe how easy that was.
Dude, how do you think
I get all my shit done?
I'm telling you, those Asian guys
love crunching numbers.
You probably
just made his weekend.
Chick magnet
Chick magnet. Chick magnet
Chick magnet. Yeah
F*ck.
An excellent point, Mr. Patel.
You are one of the finest applicants
I have ever interviewed.
Thank you.
It comes as no surprise. Your father
is highly respected in his field.
As you probably heard
from your old man,
he and I had some pretty wild times
back in med school.
Really?
Yeah. We started
our own basketball team...
the Hemoglobin Trotters.
Hemo-globin Trotters...
get it?
A play on the name of the famous
colored, Negro basketball squad...
black, African-American.
You know, people of colors.
Let's end up with one final question,
just as a formality.
What are some potential
symptoms of pancreatitis?
Well, you would have
epigastric tenderness,
diffuse abdominal tenderness...
I'm sorry.
Can you hold on one second?
Kumar's phone.
Kumar speaking.
Hey, what's up? It's me.
What are you doing?
Nothing important. I can talk.
What's going on?
Listen, I can't party tonight, okay?
I gotta stay late at the office.
Dude, f*ck that shit.
We had plans.
I know, but I got
a lot of work to do.
When has getting high ever
prevented you from doing your work?
Jesus!
Believe me.
I would love to come home. Okay?
- I got a lot of work to do.
- Thank you. I'll do that.
I got a quarter of the
finest herb in New York City.
I'm not smoking
that shit alone, okay?
So you need to just chill the f*ck out
and prepare to get blazed
because in the next couple of hours,
I expect both of us to be
blitzed out of our skulls, got it?
All right, I got it.
I'll talk to you later.
Where was I?
We've got the severe anal discharge,
sometimes violent... a.k.a. Diarrhea.
Mr. Patel, I am more than familiar
with diarrhea.
Do you actually believe
after the way you've just behaved
that I would ever even consider
recommending you for admission?
No. I'm gonna
be honest with you.
The only reason I'm applying
is so my dad
will keep paying for my apartment.
I really don't have a desire
to go to med school.
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Citation
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"Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 28 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/harold_%2526_kumar_go_to_white_castle_9649>.