George Carlin: Doin' It Again

Synopsis: George Carlin brings his comedy back to New Jersey and this time talks about Offensive Language, Euphemisms, They're Only Words, Dogs, Things you never hear, see or wanna hear, Some people are stupid, Cancer, Feminists, Good Ideas, Rape, Life's moments, and organ donors.
Director(s): Rocco Urbisci
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
8.5
Year:
1990
60 min
92 Views

So you want to talk about it?

Oh yeah.

It all started in 1977.

I mean,

that's when I started

doing it regularly.

How many times

have you done it?

Six times.

I've done it six times.

Why do you do it?

I don't know.

It's like I can't help myself.

What does your family think?

Thank God my

family doesn't know.

But how'd you get caught?

They were taping me.

Taping you?

Yeah.

Every time I did it,

they had a tape running.

Jumbo shrimp,

those words don't

even go together, man.

That's like

military intelligence,

they have that, too.

How did they do that?

That's what they tell you,

get on the plane,

get on the plane.

Fuck you,

I'm getting in the plane.

I wonder a lot of things,

but that's my job.

My job is

thinking up goofy shit.

Al Sleet here, your

hippie dippie weather man

with all the hippie

dippie weather, man.

Got into an argument

with my Rice Krispies.

I distinctly heard

Snap, Crackle, fuck him.

Have a nice day.

And the original list was

shit, piss, fuck, cunt,

cocksucker,

mother fucker and tits.

This was all I could

think of in one sitting.

That's all your house is,

is a place to keep your stuff

while you go out

and get more stuff.

But here's a little cheer,

a lot of people like it,

it goes like this,

rat shit, bat shit,

dirty old twat.

69 assholes tied in a knot.

Hurrah, lizard shit.

Fuck.

I never fucked a 10,

but one night

I fucked five 2s.

Does it strike

you as mildly ironic

that most of the people

who are against abortion

are people you wouldn't want

to fuck in the first place?

And now they're thinking

about banning toy guns,

and they're going to

keep the fucking real ones.

Thank you,

thank you very much.

Welcome to our show.

Don't you think it's

just a little bit strange

that Ronald Reagan had

an operation on his asshole

and George Bush

had an operation

on his middle finger, huh?

Huh?

What are these two

men trying to tell us?

Now I'd like

to begin tonight

with an opening announcement.

Because of the FCC,

I'm never sure what it is

I'm allowed to say,

So.

So I now have my

own official policy.

This is the language you

will not be hearing tonight.

You will not hear me say,

bottom line,

game plan,

role model,

scenario,

or hopefully.

I will not kick back,

mellow out,

or be on a roll.

I will not go for it,

and I will not check it out.

I don't even

know what it is.

And when I leave here,

I definitely will not boogie.

I promise not to refer

to anyone as a class act,

a beautiful person,

or a happy camper.

I will also not be

saying, what a guy.

And you will not hear me

refer to anyone's lifestyle.

If you want to know what a

moronic word "lifestyle" is,

all you have to do is realize

that in a technical sense,

Attila the Hun

had an active,

outdoor lifestyle.

I will also not be

saying any cute things,

like moi,

and I will not use

the French adverb trs

to modify any

English adjectives,

such as trs awesome,

trs narly, trs fabut,

trs intense,

or trs out of sight.

I will not say concept

when I mean idea.

I will not say impacted

when I mean effected.

There will be no hands on

state of the art networking.

We will not maximize,

prioritize or finalize,

and we definitely

will not interface.

There will also...

There will also be

no new age lingo

spoken here tonight,

no support group jargon

from the human

potential movement.

For instance, I will not

share anything with you.

I will not relate to you,

and you will not

identify with me.

I will give you no input,

and I will expect

no feedback.

This will not be a

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

George Carlin

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. He and his "seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". In April 2004, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of "Top 10 Comedians of US Audiences".The first of Carlin's 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. more…

All George Carlin scripts | George Carlin Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this George Carlin: Doin' It Again script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"George Carlin: Doin' It Again" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 21 Jul 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/george_carlin%3A_doin%27_it_again_8857>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.