Ferris Bueller's Day Off

1 BLACK SCREEN1

MAIN TITLES:

IT'S SILENT. A BEAT...AND AN EXPLOSION OF SOUND. A HOUSEHOLD

IN THE MORNING. KIDS GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL. CLOCK RADIOS.

KITCHEN APPLIANCES. SHOWERS. FIGHTING. PEOPLE YELLING. DOG

BARKING. APPLIANCES BUZZING. CAR HORNS. IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE

YOUR HOUSE DID. STREAMS OF ROCK'N ROLL FADE IN AND OUT. HUEY

LEWIS TO LIONEL RITCHIE TO HUSKER DU. SURROUND MAKES IT FEEL

LIKE YOU'RE IN THE ROOM. AN AURAL TOUR OF A HOUSE ON A

SCHOOL MORNING. BEGINING IN THE KITCHEN AND MOVING UPSTAIRS.

FATHER'S VOICE (TOM)

Where's my wallet?!

SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY (TODD)

YOU IDIOT!!

TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL (KIMBERLY)

MOM!

TODD:

SHUT-UP!

EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL (JEANIE)

I NEED A TOWEL!!

TOM:

JOYCE!

KIMBERLY:

(whispers, sadistic)

When you turn ten, your head's going

to swell up real big like a watermelon

and we're going to have to put you

to sleep like they do with a dog.

TODD:

MOM!

TOM:

JOYCE!!

JEANIE:

WHO PISSED ON THE TOILET SEAT!? MOTHER!!

TOM:

Where's Mom?

TODD:

Is my head going to swell up?

TOM:

What?!

JEANIE:

OH, MY GOD! THE TOILET PAPER'S ALL WET!!!

MOTHER (JOYCE)

(screams)

TOM!

The house falls dead SILENT. We hear footsteps thundering

through the house. A TENSE STRAIN OF MUSIC FADES UP.

TODD:

What's that?

KIMBERLY:

Wait! Hold still!

TODD:

What?!

KIMBERLY:

You heads starting to swell up!!

Todd screams. We hear the sound of Tom's footsteps running

through the kitchen, down the hall, up the stairs, up the

hallway. A door open.

TOM:

(breathless)

What's the matter?

JOYCE:

(worried)

It's Ferris!

TOM:

What's wrong?

JOYCE:

(snaps)

What's wrong? For Christ's sake!

Look at him!

2 CLOSE-UP. FERRIS2

An eighteen year-old boy. He's staring lifelessly at CAMERA.

His mouth's open. His eyes are bugged-out. His tongue is fat

and dry in his mouth. He's laying in bed, on his side.

3 INT. BOY'S BEDROOM 3

Ferris' parents, TOM and JOYCE BUELLER are standing at

bedside. They're in their late forties, early fifties.

Handsome, upper-middle class parents. They're both dressed

for work.

TOM:

Ferris?

JOYCE:

He doesn't have a fever. But he says

his stomach hurts and he's seeing spots.

4 CLOSE-UP. FERRIS4

His lifeless eyes blink.

5 INT. BEDROOM. PARENTS 5

Tom bends down and touches Ferris' forehead.

TOM:

What's the matter, Ferris?

JOYCE:

Feel his hands. They're cold and clammy.

Tom takes one of Ferris' hands.

TOM:

(discreetly)

Should you call the doctor?

JOYCE:

(whispers)

He doesn't want me to.

TOM:

Why don't you want Mom to call

the doctor?

Ferris exhales loudly. He tries to speak but all he can

manage is a choked gasp.

TOM:

What?

Ferris tries again.

FERRIS:

(raspy)

Don't make a fuss. I'm fine. I'll get up.

He starts to get up. Joyce gently pushes him back down.

FERRIS:

I have a test today. I have to take it.

I want to get into a good college

so I can have a fruitful life...

JOYCE:

You're not going to school like

this.

(to Tom)

Maybe I should call the office and

tell them I won't be in.

FERRIS:

I'm okay, Mom. I feel perfectly...Oh, God!

He's gripped by a seizure. His body stiffens and he chokes.

His older sister, JEANIE, walks into the room. She's dressed

for school. She's cute and stuck-up. A major pill.

JEAN:

Oh, fine. What's this? What's his problem?

JOYCE:

He doesn't feel well.

JEAN:

Yeah, right. Dry that one out

and you can fertilize the lawn.

TOM:

That's enough, Jeanie.

JEANIE:

You're not falling for this, are you?

Tell me you're not falling for this.

FERRIS:

Is that Jeanie? I can't see that

far. Jeanie?

JEANIE:

Pucker up and squat, Ferris.

JOYCE:

(annoyed)

Thank you, Jeanie. Get to school.

JEANIE:

(angry, defeated)

You're really letting him stay home?

I can't believe this. If I was bleeding

out my eyes, you guys'd make me go to

school. It's so unfair.

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