Eddie's Life Coach

Synopsis: Eddie's mom signs her slacker son up for a digital training seminar to get his life back on track.
4 min

Go, go, go! Come on, come on.

Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

Level 43! Whoa!

Whoa. Okay, head rush.

Hey, there! Do you still

live with your parents,

eat junk food and have

inflatable furniture?


You probably think I'm an idiot.


But I'm Garry "The

Winner" Wishmann.

Send me $99.95 and I'll send you my

patented earphones of enlightenment.

There, I'll guide you personally

from chump to champion in one week.

Whereupon, you'll receive an

official graduation certificate.

Oh, please.

What kind of lame-wad

would need that?

For you, sir.

Wait, what? Who sent this?

Your mother!

Mom, you know I scare easily.

Now, you must complete the course and

bring me the graduation certificate,

or I'm kicking you out.

I just ordered new curtains.

One week, darling. Bye, Eddie.

This is so stupid.

"This is so stupid."

- Huh?

- That's what you're thinking.

But now's not the time to think,

now's the time to begin

your transformation.

First, you gotta organize your exterior

before you can organize your interior.

Next, remove all distractions.

Bye, little buddy.

Wake up!

Now that we've cleaned your outside,

it's time to clean your inside.



Mmm, don't even have to chew it.

Up and at 'em!

I'm awake, I'm awake. What now?

It's time to get physical!


Sorry. Trying to dance in here.

Ah! Excuse me.


- Rise and shine!

- Yes, Garry.

It's time to kick it up a notch.

Kick it up a notch.

Way to go!

The week is over and the graduation

certificate is as good as yours...

I did it! I'm a winner!

...as soon as you send

me an additional $99.95.

What? But I did

everything you said.

I ate kale. Do you know how

hard it was to eat kale?

You owe me a certificate!

Do you hear me?

- I, uh...

- Listen, Wishmann.

I need that certificate.

- Okay, so here's the...

- Garry!

Stop playing those video

games and go clean the pool!

Yes, Mother.

You're Garry "The

Winner" Wishmann?

It's just Garry.

I've been treating you

like my lord and master.

Sorry, the whole commercial

was my mom's idea.

She's like, "Get some ambition,

or I'm kicking you out."

Dude, we're living

the same life.

Wait a minute. Is that the original

edish of Diamonds of Greyfork?

Hey, dawg, thanks for

the certificate.

My mom, like, totally framed it.

My mom won't get off my back.

Just tell her we're flowers

waiting to blossom.

- Like we are about to blossom into Level 43!

- Level43!

- Yes!

- Yeah!

Are you a flower

waiting to blossom?

Are your parents on your

back and can't get them off?

Then I can help.

- Idiot.

- Idiot.

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Ted Travelstead

All Ted Travelstead scripts | Ted Travelstead Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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